Alley whoops!
Small town sleuths and the case of an intercepted UPS delivery

Where else could an alley drifter be mistaken for a bike shop employee by a UPS driver and entrusted with $6,500 in goods, only to abscond with said goods? But wait, it gets better. The alley absconder left a trail of clues in his misdeeds – including a cameo on a surveillance video. Within 24 hours, the case is blown wide open by the small-town sleuthing grapevine, as were the cardboard boxes containing the goods, which, unfortunately, were not all that good at that point.

Ah, Durangolandia, USA, that’s where.

By now, most of us with wifi connections have seen the social media posts by 2nd Ave. Sports of a tall, mysterious trucker-hat-plaid-wearing man in the alley behind the store after-hours on Mon., April 14, around the time a rather expensive UPS delivery occurred. (A lot of us also probably asked, “Wait – doesn’t that guy work there?” Sure, the muck boots and suspenders seemed a bit “off,” but around these parts, bike mechanic gorp core is a fine line.)

Well, as it turns out, he was most definitely not an employee. “The dead giveaway were the muck boots; our mechanics are not going to wear muck boots to work,” store manager Asa Robbins said.

Rather, the man was part of a small but dedicated crew of local “pickers” who dive downtown dumpsters in search of discarded treasures (thus the need for the muck boots, we would assume.) According to Robbins, the dumpster behind 2nd Ave. Sports has become a prime target over the years, to the point of becoming a problem.

“Our trash can has been vandalized so many times by people looking for bike parts. It’s a continuous saga,” said Robbins. The issue became so bad that the store began locking the dumpster. However, the last time Robbins did that, someone set the dumpster on fire, so the store went back to the open-dumpster policy.

On the eve of the fateful heist, the alleged perp (we say “alleged” because no charges were filed, but more on that later) had been perusing the dumpster goodies for about an hour. He even greeted store owner Gary Provenchar on his way home, telling Provenchar that he was being a “good steward of the dumpster” for which Provenchar thanked him.

It was about an hour later, at 7:30 p.m., that the UPS truck rattled up. And while UPS has orders not to deliver to the store after hours, well, we can only assume the driver, flustered and blustered, made the same assumption some of us did about Mr. Muck Boots.

“Unfortunately, she saw this guy and started talking to him. They wandered around the outside of the store to see if anyone was inside, and then he proceeded to convince her that he worked at the shop,” Robbins said. “I feel for the UPS driver, but it just boiled down to her deciding to give stuff to a dude wandering around a garbage can.”

In all, the perp netted 17 packages, containing everything from a bicycle chain to a swanky new fork, a Trek bike seat and a brand new road bike. “He took the cardboard boxes behind our Zircon, opened them up and shoved what he wanted into the bike box and wandered down the alley,” said Robbins.

Of course, this entire scenario was pieced together the following morning, when Robbins showed up to work to find the opened and discarded remnants of his UPS delivery stashed behind the Zircon. “I thought, ‘OK, well here we go,’” he said.

Robbins consulted the store’s surveillance video, which had a pretty good capture of the alleged perp. “I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but it was indicative of him being there,” said Robbins.

Next, he did what any good detective would do and consulted nearby watering holes to see if anyone recognized the man. Before long, he was identified as the former ex of a friend of a friend (who also shall remain nameless, because we all make mistakes.) Eventually, they were able to track down a name and number, and since this is the iphone age, texted the perp. After some finagling, and an apology, he agreed to return the items to the store.

“He brought most of the stuff back, but it was all damaged or unusable,” said Robbins.

Fortunately, as they say in the bike shop world, all’s “wheel” that ends “wheel.” (Just kidding, no one says that. Please don’t.) The shop called its suppliers and replaced the orders, and the suppliers put in theft claims to be reimbursed by UPS. 

“It just set us back about a week with our orders,” said Robbins. “It was not a huge deal; it was just a terrible inconvenience for a few days.”

As for the perp, the store has decided not to press charges, because, “It’s just not worth it,” said Robbins. “Everyone was made whole. We don’t want to make it any bigger than it already is.”

But be forewarned: if you’re thinking about hanging around the dumpster behind 2nd Ave. in your plaid Western shirt and trucker hat in the hopes of scoring some free bike loot, they’re onto you.