In praise of running 

When I’m outside running, my body is in communion with heaven and earth. What I mean is that lately, I’ve been rediscovering my love for running, and in doing so, I’ve renewed my gratitude for what it means to run. A few times a week, I make sure to set aside time for this act of movement. I mean, it’s a blessing to feel the rhythm of my feet tapping the ground, to be in tune with my body in motion, seeing how far it can take me every time. It’s a blessing to start the day like this, by moving toward a beginning. 

Honestly, in recent years, I took running for granted. Whether it was indoors or outdoors, forcing myself to run became an unenjoyable habit. Sometimes I would overexert myself, and that would leave a swelling discomfort in my left leg. The accumulation of pain resulted in shin splints earlier this year, which took nearly two months to heal. During that painful downtime, I re-evaluated how I was treating myself. The time spent massaging and stretching my inflamed left leg gave me a greater appreciation for the body. Throughout that downtime, I missed running and the sense of freedom it gave me. There were days when I feared that perhaps I did too much damage. I started wondering, “What if I can’t run anymore?” The question left me crushed. 

By springtime, thankfully, my left leg had recovered. As a writer and guitarist, I’m already appreciative of my hands and wrists. And after enduring shin splints, I now have a better appreciation for the bones and tissue in my lower legs. 

As the sun is rising and I’m running alongside the roar of the Animas, a prayer is taking place with every step. When I say this act of movement feels liberating, I mean I’m in awe of these muscles and limbs letting me glide through beautiful earth. On the river trail, there’s one lamppost I’m fond of because back in early 2020, when the world was once again ending, someone wrote “MARX” on it with a white marker, and every lockdown day it felt like a miracle to wake up and see that streetlamp tagged with communist dreams. See, the sun is rising and bird songs are swelling, and suddenly I’m in that stride where the more I move, the more miles don’t matter. A gust of southwest wind combs my hair. The shade from trees soothes my sweat-drenched neck and back. I’m in that stride where the weightless bliss distills me down to legs and lungs. What I mean to say is, these prayers to the day that I pronounce with legs and lungs are reminders that man-made borders and kings are foolish. I only bow to the monarch butterfly. 

Sometimes on a run, I’ll reach new milestones, but the goal isn’t to always outdo myself. I’m grateful for my body’s capacity to excel and log more miles. But I’m also grateful for the running sessions that are more gentle. In any case, when I’m winding down, I can feel my heart returning from the sky. Then I’m restored and grounded again. 

Since I’m being honest, dear friends, I must acknowledge the strange contradiction of cultivating a fitness routine while our society is in a state of self-annihilation. It doesn’t take long for me to be overwhelmed by daily headlines of more genocide and deportations. The reassured heart I nurtured on a run becomes instantly shattered, day after day, when I turn my attention back to the world. I have moments where I ask internally, “What’s the point of caring for myself if the world isn’t getting any better?” I’ve been sitting with that question for a while now. I’m realizing that perhaps, despite sanity, I want to live longer in the hopes that a better world will come into being. I mean, I want to outlive this godforsaken empire. And, my dear friends and loved ones, if the grieving won’t end, then I offer my ears and shoulders to you. I mean, I want to live longer in order to do what I can to help shape a better world. 

The mornings when I offer myself to the day through sweat, breath and movement, it’s a recognition that there are still beautiful things worth living for and fighting for. Dear friends and loved ones, may we never lose sight of those beautiful things. May our bodies carry us forward with love and labor pronounced in every limb. May we outlive empires and kings in the fight for beautiful dreams.