Ask Rachel

Going au naturel, angry birds and picking a bone(r)
Going au naturel, angry birds and picking a bone(r)
05/25/2023

Interesting fact: Viagra rakes in about $500 million a year. The nursery greenhouse industry? $16 billion. Guess we know how folks really get their rocks off.

Read More
Off the couch, pickle ear and low-landers
Off the couch, pickle ear and low-landers
05/18/2023

Interesting fact: OK, I did not realize that severe altitude sickness can cause brain swelling and fluid to fill your lungs. Please disregard all my medical opinions and advice, especially if you’re inclined to trust me on these things. 

Read More
Branding my a** and 'Friends' fallout
Branding my a** and 'Friends' fallout
05/11/2023

Interesting fact: Real vanilla extract is valuable. Fake vanilla flavoring often comes (seriously) from a goo from a beaver’s butt. Look it up: castoreum. Then try to pretend “vanilla” is an insult.

Read More
Burkinis, not a latté & philanderer or philanthropist?
Burkinis, not a latté & philanderer or philanthropist?
05/04/2023

Interesting fact: Aheda Zanetti designed the first burkini as activewear for Muslim women. I have nothing funny to say about her. She’s my hero, and I want one.

Read More
Anti-ant, in the cards and kinda Kermit
Anti-ant, in the cards and kinda Kermit
04/27/2023

Interesting fact: The first Kermit was made out of Jim Henson’s mother’s old jacket and his own blue jeans. He wasn’t even a frog. So don’t talk to me about not rebooting beloved characters.

Read More
Put on hold, changing times & make 420 fun again
Put on hold, changing times & make 420 fun again
04/20/2023

Interesting fact: Swiss watches used to be the knockoff version of fancy French and English watches. Maybe someday, these Ray-Ben sunglasses of mine will be worth something. 

Read More
Walk this way, flush test and Mr. Clean
Walk this way, flush test and Mr. Clean
04/13/2023

Interesting fact: Even the CDC recommends walking on the left side of the road, suggesting that those righties are some kind of disease.

Read More
Time capsule treasure map & pickleball, again
Time capsule treasure map & pickleball, again
04/06/2023

Interesting fact: Nearly one in six Americans are playing pickleball. So in Durango, it’s got to be like 5 out of 6, with the other person recovering from knee surgery.

Read More
Not so sweet dill & deep thoughts
Not so sweet dill & deep thoughts
03/30/2023

Interesting fact: The greatest snow depth ever recorded in the USA was 451 inches in Tamarack, Calif. I’m sure they got more cumulative snowfall, but the cold undoubtedly made it shrink like a sour gherkin.

Read More
International days of drinking and sock it to me
International days of drinking and sock it to me
03/23/2023
Interesting fact: If you think about the Easter bunny being a goddess of fertility and rebirth, and eggs being symbols of fertility, and spring itself being all about fertility… man, Easter could be a very different kind of holiday.
 
Read More
Top scooper, republi-cant's & work-life imbalance
Top scooper, republi-cant's & work-life imbalance
03/16/2023

Interesting fact: The first known drag balls were held in Harlem in the 1920s. I know for a fact that Tennessee lawmakers don’t know this historical fact, or else they’d have preemptively outlawed drag in, like, the 1870s

Read More
Tough crowd, a hard sell & animal oddities
Tough crowd, a hard sell & animal oddities
03/09/2023

Interesting fact: Knitted socks originate in about the 1200s. One must presume, therefore, that the first unbearable sock puppet performances were foisted on parents in about the 1200s as well

Read More
Forever tax season & one home too many
Forever tax season & one home too many
03/02/2023

Interesting fact: Lawn bowling is not, in fact, the same as bocce ball. This is evidenced in the way that one sport involves cursing the uneven grass in the public park, and the other involves doing so but with a different style of underhand toss.

Read More
Two thumbs down and not-so feng shui
Two thumbs down and not-so feng shui
02/23/2023

Interesting fact: The slang word “keister” comes from somewhat uncertain etymology, yet absolutely certain humor quality. So how come I hear nobody but me use it?

Read More
Game of love, getting wood and rub down
Game of love, getting wood and rub down
02/16/2023

Interesting fact: The first Super Bowl was on January 15, which math tells me is more than four weeks before Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait for the first time those two behemoths coincide.

Read More
The best way to screw, nouveau lingo and 'dese nuts
The best way to screw, nouveau lingo and 'dese nuts
02/09/2023

Interesting fact: Why does the term “co-ed” refer to women specifically? I mean, besides the term co-educational coinciding with women co-taking classes with male cohorts. Co-ed really, to be coherent, should concern all students.

 

Read More
Weighing costs, smoker's section & snowed in
Weighing costs, smoker's section & snowed in
02/02/2023

Interesting fact: The first time smoking was curtailed in Congress was 1871, when a dozen eggs cost 30 cents.

Read More
Glove love, seeing red and dark arts
Glove love, seeing red and dark arts
01/26/2023

Interesting fact: International law dictates that all go signals must be green, but due to some linguistic stubbornness, you get traffic lights in Japan that are the bluest possible shade of green.

Read More
Earning your stripes, turf wars and a rice gesture
Earning your stripes, turf wars and a rice gesture
01/19/2023

Interesting fact: The inventor of road striping was following a leaky milk truck down the road when the idea came to him: why not store milk in jugs instead of trucks?

Read More
Sweat it out, Xmas year-round & fake it till you make it
Sweat it out, Xmas year-round & fake it till you make it
01/12/2023

Interesting fact: Electric Christmas lights were a status symbol for many years after being invented. So keeping strands up year-round will impress the heck out of any time travelers from the past.

Read More