Ask Rachel

Interesting fact: OK, I did not realize that severe altitude sickness can cause brain swelling and fluid to fill your lungs. Please disregard all my medical opinions and advice, especially if you’re inclined to trust me on these things. 

Interesting fact: Real vanilla extract is valuable. Fake vanilla flavoring often comes (seriously) from a goo from a beaver’s butt. Look it up: castoreum. Then try to pretend “vanilla” is an insult.

Interesting fact: Aheda Zanetti designed the first burkini as activewear for Muslim women. I have nothing funny to say about her. She’s my hero, and I want one.

Interesting fact: The first Kermit was made out of Jim Henson’s mother’s old jacket and his own blue jeans. He wasn’t even a frog. So don’t talk to me about not rebooting beloved characters.

Interesting fact: Swiss watches used to be the knockoff version of fancy French and English watches. Maybe someday, these Ray-Ben sunglasses of mine will be worth something. 

Interesting fact: Even the CDC recommends walking on the left side of the road, suggesting that those righties are some kind of disease.

Interesting fact: Nearly one in six Americans are playing pickleball. So in Durango, it’s got to be like 5 out of 6, with the other person recovering from knee surgery.

Interesting fact: The greatest snow depth ever recorded in the USA was 451 inches in Tamarack, Calif. I’m sure they got more cumulative snowfall, but the cold undoubtedly made it shrink like a sour gherkin.

Interesting fact: The first known drag balls were held in Harlem in the 1920s. I know for a fact that Tennessee lawmakers don’t know this historical fact, or else they’d have preemptively outlawed drag in, like, the 1870s

Interesting fact: Knitted socks originate in about the 1200s. One must presume, therefore, that the first unbearable sock puppet performances were foisted on parents in about the 1200s as well

Interesting fact: Lawn bowling is not, in fact, the same as bocce ball. This is evidenced in the way that one sport involves cursing the uneven grass in the public park, and the other involves doing so but with a different style of underhand toss.

Interesting fact: The slang word “keister” comes from somewhat uncertain etymology, yet absolutely certain humor quality. So how come I hear nobody but me use it?

Interesting fact: The first Super Bowl was on January 15, which math tells me is more than four weeks before Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait for the first time those two behemoths coincide.

Interesting fact: Why does the term “co-ed” refer to women specifically? I mean, besides the term co-educational coinciding with women co-taking classes with male cohorts. Co-ed really, to be coherent, should concern all students.

Interesting fact: The first time smoking was curtailed in Congress was 1871, when a dozen eggs cost 30 cents.

Interesting fact: International law dictates that all go signals must be green, but due to some linguistic stubbornness, you get traffic lights in Japan that are the bluest possible shade of green.

Interesting fact: The inventor of road striping was following a leaky milk truck down the road when the idea came to him: why not store milk in jugs instead of trucks?