Ask Rachel
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- Rubber meets the road, Trader Joe's FOMO & seed gender bias
- 07/01/2021
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Interesting fact: The International Olympic Committee is supplying 150,000 condoms to the Olympic village. 11,000 athletes are expected to participate in this year’s games. Is that a ridiculous amount of condoms or not nearly enough condoms?
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- Safety third, space schmucks and heavy hugs
- 06/24/2021
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Interesting fact: The pressure of a weighted blanket is suspected to release oxytocin, that ol’ feel-good hormone. No word yet on how much oxytocin a weighted blanket stimulates in the zero gravity of space.
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- Gleek mythology, tongue baths & goth gardening
- 06/17/2021
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Interesting fact: The AKC says that dog saliva (and human saliva too!) is slightly antibacterial and antimicrobial. Key word: slightly.
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- International incident, growing turmoil and belly aches
- 06/10/2021
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Interesting fact: That whole “humans use only 10% of their brains” thing is apparently a myth, and most of our brains are active most of the time. Not saying they’re usefully active. Just active.
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- Baffled by breakfast, 'no' to nostalgia & Aunt Flo's undies
- 06/03/2021
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Interesting fact: “Shorts” is reportedly slang for cigarette butts. Thus, “eat my shorts” takes on a range of meanings both literal and euphemistic.
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- Super specific, burrito blunders and air heads
- 05/27/2021
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Interesting fact: Canned air is not actually air at all, but a highly flammable mixture. I’m more and more invested in this potential canned-air superhero by the moment.
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- Saved by the boss, styrofoam stash and ride bribes
- 05/20/2021
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Interesting fact: Styrofoam is about 95 percent air. So basically… it’s the breathable version of bottled water.
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- Deathly Disney, bad dads and missed connections
- 05/13/2021
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Interesting fact: Anyone who thinks all Disney movies don’t share a universe has never been to Disneyland, where you can dine with Robin Hood and Cinderella at the SAME TIME.
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- Unnatural flavors, puzzling punctuation and bat bikes
- 05/06/2021
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Interesting fact: According to the FDA Code of Regulations, natural flavors are created from substances extracted from certain plant or animal sources. I don’t know about you, but just reading the word “extracted” makes me hungry.
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- Doggy style, in-box anxiety and rind etiquette
- 04/29/2021
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Interesting fact: “Jury-rigged” is a makeshift solution from materials at hand. “Jerry-built” is something constructed with shoddy materials. “Jerry-rigged” is an 18-wheeler driven by Jerome.
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- Parental timeshares, glue lies and bursting bubbles
- 04/22/2021
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Interesting fact: The short answer? Soaps are made of natural products, and detergents are synthetic. Also, detergents work better in cold water. Good for ice bucket bubble baths.
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- Dishing it out, hug withdrawal and getting boned
- 04/15/2021
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Interesting fact: In humid climates, bones can decompose in a decade or two. But in more dry areas, they can take hundreds of years. This is why we generally hide bodies in lakes.
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- Not OK boomer, short people & no vaccine for crazy
- 04/08/2021
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Interesting fact: Among the most misquoted internet celebrities, we find Winston Churchill, Ben Franklin, George Carlin and Yogi Berra. These, my friends, are our appeals to authority. #notallwhitemen
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- Unmasking Rachel, punctuation anarchy & unskilled labor
- 04/01/2021
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Interesting fact: This is the day you learn who Rachel really is. (Hint: she’s Rachel.)
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- Crimes against humani-tea, what about Bobcat & Hobbit holiday
- 03/25/2021
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Interesting fact: March 25 is indeed the date of Frodo’s jewelry return gone awry, but that equates to March 18 on the Gregorian calendar. You nerds are all a week late.
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- Baby got back, being neighborly and watered-down advice
- 03/18/2021
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Interesting fact: I always thought being in traction meant you had a full body cast. Turns out, it refers to the slings pulling on your arms and legs – and I can’t figure out how that works when it’s really just pulling on your full body cast.
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- Letters of retaliation, cult culture and anal homies
- 03/11/2021
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Interesting fact: Cult members often don’t realize they are in a cult. You could be in a cult right now. Can you prove you are not?
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- Sweet revenge, sticks & stones, and the big blow off
- 03/04/2021
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Interesting fact: I wanted an interesting fact about reality TV and learned that all such facts contain an irrefutable truth: there are no interesting facts about reality TV.
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- Too old to Tik Tok, suck-ulents and Mary mania
- 02/25/2021
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Interesting fact: Despite a 50 percent drop in sales from 1998-99, JNCO jeans still exist, at about 50 percent of the cost (and 50 percent of the leg width).
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- Pantry prejudice, genetic mutations & masked messages
- 02/18/2021
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Interesting fact: Quaker Oats invented the recipe-on-the-box and the prize-inside concepts. Maybe we should put them in charge of the masking initiative.
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