Ask Rachel

Rubber meets the road, Trader Joe's FOMO & seed gender bias: 07/01/2021; Interesting fact: The International Olympic Committee is supplying 150,000 condoms to the Olympic village. 11,000 athletes are expected to participate in this year’s games. Is that a ridiculous amount of condoms or not nearly enough condoms?; Read More

Safety third, space schmucks and heavy hugs: 06/24/2021; Interesting fact: The pressure of a weighted blanket is suspected to release oxytocin, that ol’ feel-good hormone. No word yet on how much oxytocin a weighted blanket stimulates in the zero gravity of space.; Read More

Gleek mythology, tongue baths & goth gardening: 06/17/2021; Interesting fact: The AKC says that dog saliva (and human saliva too!) is slightly antibacterial and antimicrobial. Key word: slightly.; Read More

International incident, growing turmoil and belly aches: 06/10/2021; Interesting fact: That whole “humans use only 10% of their brains” thing is apparently a myth, and most of our brains are active most of the time. Not saying they’re usefully active. Just active.; Read More

Baffled by breakfast, 'no' to nostalgia & Aunt Flo's undies

06/03/2021

Interesting fact: “Shorts” is reportedly slang for cigarette butts. Thus, “eat my shorts” takes on a range of meanings both literal and euphemistic.

Super specific, burrito blunders and air heads

05/27/2021

Interesting fact: Canned air is not actually air at all, but a highly flammable mixture. I’m more and more invested in this potential canned-air superhero by the moment.

Saved by the boss, styrofoam stash and ride bribes: 05/20/2021; Interesting fact: Styrofoam is about 95 percent air. So basically… it’s the breathable version of bottled water.; Read More

Deathly Disney, bad dads and missed connections: 05/13/2021; Interesting fact: Anyone who thinks all Disney movies don’t share a universe has never been to Disneyland, where you can dine with Robin Hood and Cinderella at the SAME TIME.; Read More

Unnatural flavors, puzzling punctuation and bat bikes: 05/06/2021; Interesting fact: According to the FDA Code of Regulations, natural flavors are created from substances extracted from certain plant or animal sources. I don’t know about you, but just reading the word “extracted” makes me hungry.; Read More

Doggy style, in-box anxiety and rind etiquette

04/29/2021

Interesting fact: “Jury-rigged” is a makeshift solution from materials at hand. “Jerry-built” is something constructed with shoddy materials. “Jerry-rigged” is an 18-wheeler driven by Jerome.

Parental timeshares, glue lies and bursting bubbles

04/22/2021

Interesting fact: The short answer? Soaps are made of natural products, and detergents are synthetic. Also, detergents work better in cold water. Good for ice bucket bubble baths.

Dishing it out, hug withdrawal and getting boned: 04/15/2021; Interesting fact: In humid climates, bones can decompose in a decade or two. But in more dry areas, they can take hundreds of years. This is why we generally hide bodies in lakes.; Read More

Not OK boomer, short people & no vaccine for crazy: 04/08/2021; Interesting fact: Among the most misquoted internet celebrities, we find Winston Churchill, Ben Franklin, George Carlin and Yogi Berra. These, my friends, are our appeals to authority. #notallwhitemen; Read More

Unmasking Rachel, punctuation anarchy & unskilled labor: 04/01/2021; Interesting fact: This is the day you learn who Rachel really is. (Hint: she’s Rachel.); Read More

Crimes against humani-tea, what about Bobcat & Hobbit holiday: 03/25/2021; Interesting fact: March 25 is indeed the date of Frodo’s jewelry return gone awry, but that equates to March 18 on the Gregorian calendar. You nerds are all a week late.; Read More

Baby got back, being neighborly and watered-down advice

03/18/2021

Interesting fact: I always thought being in traction meant you had a full body cast. Turns out, it refers to the slings pulling on your arms and legs – and I can’t figure out how that works when it’s really just pulling on your full body cast.

Letters of retaliation, cult culture and anal homies: 03/11/2021; Interesting fact: Cult members often don’t realize they are in a cult. You could be in a cult right now. Can you prove you are not?; Read More

Sweet revenge, sticks & stones, and the big blow off

03/04/2021

Interesting fact: I wanted an interesting fact about reality TV and learned that all such facts contain an irrefutable truth: there are no interesting facts about reality TV.

Too old to Tik Tok, suck-ulents and Mary mania: 02/25/2021; Interesting fact: Despite a 50 percent drop in sales from 1998-99, JNCO jeans still exist, at about 50 percent of the cost (and 50 percent of the leg width).; Read More

Pantry prejudice, genetic mutations & masked messages: 02/18/2021; Interesting fact: Quaker Oats invented the recipe-on-the-box and the prize-inside concepts. Maybe we should put them in charge of the masking initiative.; Read More

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