Ask Rachel

Interesting fact: Time called “Wiggle Wiggle” the worst Dylan song: it “sounds like the theme song to one of those tripped-out television shows beloved by toddlers and drug users.” I liked the song before I even heard it.

Interesting fact: If you haven’t looked into the Folgers incest ad debacle ... go for it.

Interesting fact: Smartwatch manufacturers recommend wearing their products on your, ahem, non-dominant hand to avoid falsely inflating step counts throughout the day. No mention of people who use one of the numerous two-handed methods.

Interesting fact: If you can sub the word with “he” or “she,” use who. If “him” or “her” fits better, use “whom.” Like this: “Me and whom literally died watching half-masked idiots at 8 a.m. this morning.”

Interesting fact: We all need a break from the coronavirus. Let me be that break

Interesting fact: Derek Thompson, writing at The Atlantic, calls the presidential administration’s coronavirus efforts “a shambolic bonanza of incompetence,” and that is now my favorite five-word descriptor in the history of coronavirus. 

Interesting fact: Charities, political parties seeking donations, and political candidates are exempt from the Do Not Call registry. So call them all you please. Just don’t call them Uncle.

Interesting fact: The Black Death in the 14th century reduced the world population from 475 million to 350 million or so. Breathe easy! There is zero chance coronavirus will reduce us to anything less than 500 million.

Interesting fact: Red letter days are so called because, dating back to Roman times, calendars often indicate important dates in red ink. Or else the red ink warned of impending Roman periods. Either way.

Interesting fact: Turns out there really isn’t such thing as a sugar allergy. But there is sugar intolerance … and plenty of people who are sugar-intolerance intolerant.

Interesting fact: Worse than left-lane hogs are those too-bright LED headlights. But my internet research shows, unfortunately, that somehow those damn lights are not actually illegal.

Interesting fact: There’s no agreed-upon nickname for this decade yet (surprise!) or the last one, but the Brits call the 2000s the “naughties,” and I’ve never wanted to go back in time and/or to England so badly.

Interesting fact: If you drive without your license on you, the worst that could happen is the police don’t believe you are who you say you are, and you get carted off to jail until they can ID you. No biggie. Unless you’re not who you say you are.

Interesting fact: There is no cure for the cold because 160 different strains of rhinovirus cause colds. No word on when or why we started swapping snot with rhinoceroses.

Interesting fact: Oil is a slang term for beer in Mississippi. I’m a much bigger consumer of essential oils than I ever realized.

Interesting fact: Milquetoast comes from the main character from the daily cartoon “The Timid Soul,” which started in 1925. Tell me, was 1925 technically part of the twenties?

Interesting fact: I just did some insta-research, and many peach trees are self-pollinating. So my new favorite insult is to make like a peach tree and go eff yourself.