Ask Rachel

Dog eat dog, stinktown & coming out of the vegan closet
Dog eat dog, stinktown & coming out of the vegan closet
11/19/2020

Interesting fact: I have edited this week’s questions to read as answers, as my own little overdue tribute to the calming voice of my childhood. 

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Spacing out, social flypaper and being a tool
Spacing out, social flypaper and being a tool
11/12/2020

Interesting fact: New data from NASA suggests there may be 300 million habitable planets. The article was behind a paywall, so that’s all I know. 

 

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Road rage, Amazonians and fuzzy handcuffs
Road rage, Amazonians and fuzzy handcuffs
11/05/2020
Interesting fact: Bobby pins really are the best way to break free from handcuffs. Gents, if you think you pissed off your wife, you may want to start accessorizing.
 
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Poll dancing, against the wind and getting canned
Poll dancing, against the wind and getting canned
10/29/2020

Interesting fact: Now, amidst our current zeitgeist, I feel I understand @nihilist_arbys on a truly cellular level. This is my salute. Not that it matters.

 

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Doggy style, oral armements and Millennial murder
Doggy style, oral armements and Millennial murder
10/22/2020
Interesting fact: This won’t be the first year “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” won’t air on network TV. In fact, it also was not broadcast for thousands – millions! – of years before the invention of TV.
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Getting ghosted, on the juice and being worked over
Getting ghosted, on the juice and being worked over
10/15/2020

Interesting fact: A startling number of websites purport to list “ghost facts,” yet not a single one passed the Ask Rachel Interesting Fact smell test.

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Fashion victim, heavy thoughts and cornfusion
Fashion victim, heavy thoughts and cornfusion
10/08/2020

Interesting fact: Each kernel of candy corn has its own unique shape. No two are alike. It’s like hell’s version of a snowflake.

 

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Write-offs, four-letter words and free samples
Write-offs, four-letter words and free samples
10/01/2020

Interesting fact: Jupiter and Saturn are going to conjunct in December. That happens every 20 years though, so I’m afraid we can’t blame this year on astrology.

 

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Stay-at-home mom, crisis hotline and sale plants
Stay-at-home mom, crisis hotline and sale plants
09/24/2020

Interesting fact: Seems like folks might need to hear this right now: there are people out there to listen to you. Like the Colorado Crisis Services. 1-844-493-8255. (Stick that in your wallet right now.)

 

 

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Little piggies, cheap shades and sanity check
Little piggies, cheap shades and sanity check
09/17/2020

Interesting fact: When you stub your toe, you’re slamming that little piggy with a force equivalent to two to three times your body weight. 

 

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The Seinfeld theory, postal snub and brewskiing
The Seinfeld theory, postal snub and brewskiing
09/10/2020

Interesting fact: Nothing starts with N and ends with G.

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Rule 34, Big Mac attack and neighborly conspiracies
Rule 34, Big Mac attack and neighborly conspiracies
09/03/2020

Interesting fact: Fast foods, high in sugar and fats, stimulate the brain’s natural opioids. You literally can’t Just Say No.

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Unexercising, second coming & zuke til you puke
Unexercising, second coming & zuke til you puke
08/27/2020

Interesting fact: One zucchini is actually a zucchina. Stare at that word for a while, and tell me it doesn’t trip you out.

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Unexpected errors, flats and going both ways
Unexpected errors, flats and going both ways
08/20/2020
Interesting fact: Bupkis, according to ye olde coffee shop parking lot internet, is short for kozebubkes, “goat droppings” in Yiddish.
 
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Camping in, hallucinogenic toads and socksy talk
Camping in, hallucinogenic toads and socksy talk
08/13/2020

Interesting fact: Contronyms are single words with two conflicting definitions. Like, “to dust” means both “cover in fine particles” and “remove fine particles.” How do we even communicate?

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Fake fans, socket frenching and Rachel in training
Fake fans, socket frenching and Rachel in training
08/06/2020

Interesting fact: The fake baseball audience sounds (which come from a video game) are actually played over stadium speakers. Which only intensifies the cardboard cutout horror vibe.

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Total zeroes, ice cream diet and the vocal minority
Total zeroes, ice cream diet and the vocal minority
07/30/2020

Interesting fact: The “odo-” in “odometer” comes from the Greek “hodos,” meaning “way,” via the French odometer. That word is the only enduring contribution France ever made to the modern automotive industry. 

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Sign rage, catnapping and maskless avengers
Sign rage, catnapping and maskless avengers
07/23/2020

Interesting fact: Body farm research at the Forensic Investigation Research Station at Colorado Mesa University inadvertently discovered that, yes, given the chance, cats really will eat your dead body.

 

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Bird brains and insufferable vegans
Bird brains and insufferable vegans
07/16/2020
Interesting fact: Twenty-five percent of peanuts sold between March and October go to baseball stadiums. But not this year. Save the peanuts! Feed them to your animals. (Without xylitol.)
 
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Ask Rachel: Dirt-turds, side hustles and imported germs
Ask Rachel: Dirt-turds, side hustles and imported germs
07/09/2020

Interesting fact: For what it’s worth, the roads go both ways: Coloradans are most likely to move to California and Texas, too. They’re lucky to have us.

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