Ask Rachel

Moth-erly advice, bad carma and little heathens
Moth-erly advice, bad carma and little heathens
06/26/2025

Interesting fact: Some moths make silk. Other moths eat silk. I’m not very high, but I’ve been sitting with this realization for half an hour now.

 

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Patronized, time warp and take a hike
Patronized, time warp and take a hike
06/19/2025
Interesting fact: I always thought “prodigal” meant “the one who returns home.” It doesn’t. It means “wasteful and extravagant.” So much for context clues. Thanks, parable.
 
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Doggy duty, following the crowd and cutting to the chase
Doggy duty, following the crowd and cutting to the chase
06/12/2025

Interesting fact: A social media manager’s rule of thumb is four educational and entertaining posts to every one promotional one. Huh. I’m clearly overdue for selling you all something.

 

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Car wars, black eyes and pet peeves
Car wars, black eyes and pet peeves
06/05/2025

Interesting fact: The kitty-litter industry claws through 5 billion tons of clay each year. Pretty sure half of this ended up on my college roommate’s kitchen counter.

 

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Dogged determination, bad reviews and fed up
Dogged determination, bad reviews and fed up
05/29/2025

Interesting fact: “Bluey” is reportedly the first show to demonstrate unstructured childhood play. And this advice column, week in and week out, demonstrates even less structure than that.

 

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Surfing chompers, being Ernie and squARTer's rights
Surfing chompers, being Ernie and squARTer's rights
05/22/2025
Interesting fact: Generally speaking, you may have no legal obligation to return an ex’s stuff to them. No legal word on whether my opinion is legally sound. 
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Pushing buttons, peak Ikea and naked eyes
Pushing buttons, peak Ikea and naked eyes
05/15/2025

Interesting fact: Dinosaurs had belly buttons. A triceratops-like dinosaur fossil was found with a belly button scar much like modern alligators have. Lint, however, does not fossilize.

 

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Can tossing, keyboard rambles and big dog energy
Can tossing, keyboard rambles and big dog energy
05/08/2025

Interesting fact: Many canned foods are good well beyond their best-by date. So you have several more years to pretend you’ll eat those garbanzo beans back there.

 

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Disappearing act, staying puft and going big
Disappearing act, staying puft and going big
05/01/2025

Interesting fact: The vulnerable part of disappearing message security is what’s referred to, apparently with a straight face, as an “analog hole.” (Meaning anything digital has to become visible or auditory for humans to perceive it.)

 

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Pass wore-out, heavy chewers and eggs-istential crisis
Pass wore-out, heavy chewers and eggs-istential crisis
04/24/2025

Interesting fact: If you need a new password, a passphrase might be your best bet – some experts believe a seven-word passphrase is essentially unhackable. Unless it’s your dog’s name.

 

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The Easter grinch and the three-hour work day
The Easter grinch and the three-hour work day
04/17/2025
Interesting fact: “Eight hours for work” etc. etc. was the slogan of the 19th-century Haymarket Martyrs, who were killed while on strike. We like to say they died for the modern workday. I have to think they died for the “rest & what we will” portions of the day. 
 
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Dog as my witness, office odor & bad taste
Dog as my witness, office odor & bad taste
04/10/2025

Interesting fact: La Plata County’s website does not seem to take a stance on dog paw prints as witness signatures, one way or the other.

 

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Heavy lifting, secret sauce and wannabe fan boy
Heavy lifting, secret sauce and wannabe fan boy
04/03/2025

Interesting fact: Baseball saw double-digit increases in its national TV audience for viewers age 18-34 last year. Weird, because I didn’t think kids these days had attention spans.

 

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Cock fight, shoulder season and buzzing off
Cock fight, shoulder season and buzzing off
03/27/2025

Interesting fact: The term “cockpit” for a pilot’s little room seems to come from ye olde nautical term for “where the coxswain sits.” That ought to clear up any other possible misuse of the word.

 

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What the fooch, love triangle and odd cat out
What the fooch, love triangle and odd cat out
03/20/2025

Interesting fact: An average-sized pine tree can turn into about 100 pounds of toilet paper, or 1,500 rolls. No word on how many fooch wipes that same tree can make. 

 

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Burning question, doctors' orders and death wish
Burning question, doctors' orders and death wish
03/13/2025
Interesting fact: Medical appointment times are set to the provider’s schedule, not yours. It’s a lot like how you have to arrive early for your flight, with an equally high chance of contracting something while there.
 
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Following suit, persona non grata and sucking up
Following suit, persona non grata and sucking up
03/06/2025
Interesting fact: Military fatigues come from the “fatigue duties” of soldiers, aka the work that will wear them out. By this reasoning, all my clothes at this point are fatigues. 
 
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The doll-drums, noodle nerd and giving the slip
The doll-drums, noodle nerd and giving the slip
02/27/2025
Interesting fact: The slang term “noodle” for brain doesn’t actually come from the word for pasta – neither, shockingly, does the word “canoodle” – but both might come from when “noodle” meant “idiot.” Let’s bring this one back into fashion.
 
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'Pops' psych, leggo my LEGOs and virgin territory
'Pops' psych, leggo my LEGOs and virgin territory
02/20/2025
Interesting fact: LEGO is an abbreviation of the Danish “leg godt,” meaning “play well.” IKEA is an acronym for a bunch of words that sound like IKEA products. 
 
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Prime time, dating for dollars and Star Spangled manner
Prime time, dating for dollars and Star Spangled manner
02/13/2025
Interesting fact: Two-thirds of Americans do not know the words to the first verse of the national anthem. In fairness, who knows what a “gleaming” is, anyway?
 
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