Ask Rachel

Sick thoughts, charity lunch and well off: 08/01/2024; Interesting fact: All the “speak English good” websites I can find say “be well” is a perfectly friendly way to say goodbye. Maybe I am the unfriendly one.; Read More

Rachel for veep, Mix Master 550 & soap scumbag: 07/25/2024; Interesting fact: The Talking Heads song “Road to Nowhere” is, in David Byrne’s words, “a song that presented a resigned, even joyful look at doom.” Ah, an anthem for our times.; Read More

Inbox fantasies, benevolent raccoons and star-stuck

07/18/2024

Interesting fact: The Milky Way is about 100,000 light-years across, 1,000 light-years thick, and a million emails deep.

Cats and dogs, seeing red and not-so gaga: 07/11/2024; Interesting fact: Smartphone cameras don’t cause red eyes because of something to do with apertures and exposure and, frankly, I think they’ve already sucked the souls out of us so our eyes are all dead.; Read More

Go fly a kite, watch the birdie and digging for gold: 07/04/2024; Interesting fact: Like the Olympic torch, the Seine protest will run through France. People can make donations anywhere upstream, with an online tool to calculate how long it will take to reach Paris.; Read More

Thou shalts, standard reply and parental discretion: 06/27/2024; Interesting fact: The Louisiana law explicitly outlines the version of the biblical text to be posted in classrooms. No word on whether these may be photoshopped onto Mel Brooks holding the 15, I mean 10 Commandments.; Read More

Jugs, passive aggressive texts and losing streaks: 06/20/2024; Interesting fact: Algae water is potentially toxic and does NOT grant superpowers, so do not go drinking it. How about, don’t listen to most things I say. This is a good general rule of thumb.; Read More

Planting thoughts, family togetherness and getting soaked: 06/13/2024; Interesting fact: According to BBC Earth, plants have feelings too. Great. A whole new kingdom for me to offend.; Read More

Roller rebirth, algorithm-noia and trimming the fat

06/06/2024

Interesting fact: Roller skating uses 80% of your body’s muscles. And one wipeout can take off 100% of your knee skin.

Skeezery, raising raisins & thirst for truth: 05/30/2024; Interesting fact: The average dog owner in the U.S. spends about $1,400 annually on their pet. I want to know what discount code they’re using.; Read More

Glitching out, home alone and seeing red: 05/23/2024; Interesting fact: Remember The Sims? Their language, Simlish, is actually a combination of Ukrainian, French, Latin, Finnish, English, Fijian, Cebuan, and Tagalog. I wonder if they have a term for “existential angst.”; Read More

Loan forgiveness, dish duty and mommy issues: 05/16/2024; Interesting fact: Dinner guest etiquette guides vary, but there is one universal: Do not unload someone else’s dishwasher. Ever.; Read More

Unchained, paying it forward and missing link: 05/09/2024; Interesting fact: The Selective Service is not, in fact, related to the Secret Service, no matter how many times I google the latter looking for the former to make sure I have my facts straight.; Read More

Greasy men, distracted listening and germaphobia: 05/02/2024; Interesting fact: Henry Cavill, yes, actual Superman, was bullied as a kid and called “Fat Cavill,” because he was so darn chubby. So there’s hope for us all.; Read More

Pasty whites, last laughs and doggie delicacies: 04/25/2024; Interesting fact: Research actually shows that dry brushing (aka without toothpaste) gets people to brush longer and removes more plaque and bacteria. You can follow it up with mint candy before bed for that just-brushed breath.; Read More

Parental rights, wind blown and breaking for naps: 04/18/2024; Interesting fact: Siestas can improve memory and cognition, reduce stress, and regulate emotions. They are the inverse of our mothers.; Read More

Leftover wood, universal signs and gifts that keep giving

04/11/2024

Interesting fact: The phenomenon where you keep noticing something over and over once you become aware of it is called the “frequency illusion” or the “Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.” Now you’ll start seeing “Baader-Meinhof” wherever you look.

Enlightenment, avocado love and IRAs: 04/04/2024; Interesting fact: Pearl Jam had an avocado on the cover of its 2006 album. Why? As guitarist Mike McCready said, “I think we were watching the Super Bowl, and we had some guacamole or something.”; Read More

Drugged out, cameo role and Chex mate: 03/28/2024; Interesting fact: General Mills actually removed bagel chips from Chex Mix in 2009. Feels like it never happened.; Read More

Feeling the pinch, family matters and conspiracy leery: 03/21/2024; Interesting fact: Reportedly, before Chicago started dyeing the river green, the mayor considered dyeing Lake Michigan. That is dye hard.; Read More

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