Ask Rachel

Interesting fact: The Mayo Clinic says that four cups of coffee a day seems to be a healthy limit for most adults. They have yet to reply to my inquiries on Christmas overdosing.

Interesting fact: Carrie Fisher claimed that she played the Star Wars Holiday Special at parties when she wanted people to leave. Thanksgiving pro tip.

Interesting fact: Whole cow’s milk contains about 87% water. Human bodies are about 55-60% water. So we actually dilute ourselves when we drink milk.

Interesting fact: Some people say the water quality in NYC is why all steamed food tastes so good there. I call bologna. 

Interesting fact: Matthew Perry was the only one of the “Friends” never to be nominated for a Razzie Award. He truly was the best of us. Godspeed, Chandler Bing. 

Interesting fact: G.I. originally stood for “galvanized iron” and was stamped on products made of such. It later came to mean all kinds of things, but please join me in eating ice cream so we can complain about our galvanized iron tracts. 

Interesting fact: “Pied” means simply “having two or more colors.” Makes me wonder why this attribute was relevant to the famous piper.

Interesting fact: Turns out, you actually have to brush your dentures. You also have to clean the grooves where you use adhesives. Especially if you set your dentures down in dog hair. 

Interesting fact: Email predates the World Wide Web. The first email was sent in 1965, or maybe 1971. Either way, it’s still sitting unread in my inbox.

Interesting fact: Rachel has been put on administrative suspension pending review of the numerous calls (hey, one is a number) for her swift and immediate removal, because she said something someone didn’t like, so we’re asking Phoebe to step in until Rachel is released from time-out. 

Interesting fact: There’s a whole “shopping cart theory” proposing that a person’s moral character is revealed by what they do with their cart in the parking lot. I propose that it’s better revealed by what questions they submit under obviously fake names to a newspaper columnist.

Interesting fact: Oils and dirt still build up on a bald scalp, so you should still use a dollop of shampoo on that light bulb. 

Interesting fact: Time magazine has a whole archival article to explain that absolutely no one understands where the tennis scoring system came from.

Interesting fact: Even at its worst level of performance, an indoor HEPA filter can capture 99.97% of airborne particles. No word on how that compares to my automotive air filter.

Interesting fact: Until the pandemic, Halloween candy season typically lasted six weeks. Now it’s 10 or 12. At least Covid gave us this one good thing.

Interesting fact: Colorado Revised Statute 42-3-202 is pretty unambiguous: “A person shall not operate a motor vehicle with an affixed device … that causes all or a portion of a license plate to be unreadable.” No word on what happens if you’re NOT a person.

Interesting fact: Scents fire straight into our limbic system, the parts of our brain directly correlated with emotion and memory. Too bad I never used odors to cram for my exams.

Interesting fact: There is no formula for determining a hilly city’s elevation. We simply pick a spot and measure it. Durango should have picked the Tele offices, just to refresh the number every so often.