Ask Rachel
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- Cold comfort, car nanny, and shut up and hike
- 09/26/2024
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Interesting fact: Car insurance tracking apps can reportedly track how often you use your phone while driving. I like this for every single person on the road but me.
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- Tool vulture, avoiding the NPCs and rice or wrong
- 09/19/2024
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Interesting fact: Properly and promptly cooled rice and other grains are still safe to eat as leftovers, according to Consumer Reports. I didn’t know the magazine was for consumers of starch, but hey.
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- RV revenge, copping out and feeding frenzy
- 09/12/2024
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Interesting fact: According to AAA’s stats, Labor Day domestic travel was up 9% this year over last. Undoubtedly, every bit of it was obnoxiously long and intentionally slow RVs.
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- Fake empathy, chasing cars and mob mentality
- 09/05/2024
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Interesting fact: I once nearly lost a friendship because my idiot friend refused to admit that it’s “cramp my style” and not “crimp my style,” unless your style is a pie crust.
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- Birthday boy, DNC letdown and lackluster library
- 08/29/2024
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Interesting fact: Jonathan Swift’s proposal was for the poor to sell their children as food to the rich. I wonder what Taylor’s proposals would look like.
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- D&D dropout, ranger danger & social insecurity
- 08/22/2024
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Interesting fact: The USPS is offering Dungeons & Dragons stamps, which means the nerds are now officially, governmentally recognized, federally sanctioned mainstream.
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- Corn hole gold, going big and pet peeves
- 08/15/2024
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Interesting fact: New Olympic sports in 2028 include squash – but not pickleball. The interesting fact is that I can find no reason for ball-and-racquet sports to be named after garden produce.
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- Pool pee, misguided ETAs, and remastering
- 08/08/2024
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Interesting fact: Olympic swimmers have gone public with what we’ve all suspected: they pee in the pool. I guess if any one of them is on performance enhancers, they all are.
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- Sick thoughts, charity lunch and well off
- 08/01/2024
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Interesting fact: All the “speak English good” websites I can find say “be well” is a perfectly friendly way to say goodbye. Maybe I am the unfriendly one.
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- Rachel for veep, Mix Master 550 & soap scumbag
- 07/25/2024
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Interesting fact: The Talking Heads song “Road to Nowhere” is, in David Byrne’s words, “a song that presented a resigned, even joyful look at doom.” Ah, an anthem for our times.
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- Inbox fantasies, benevolent raccoons and star-stuck
- 07/18/2024
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Interesting fact: The Milky Way is about 100,000 light-years across, 1,000 light-years thick, and a million emails deep.
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- Cats and dogs, seeing red and not-so gaga
- 07/11/2024
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Interesting fact: Smartphone cameras don’t cause red eyes because of something to do with apertures and exposure and, frankly, I think they’ve already sucked the souls out of us so our eyes are all dead.
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- Go fly a kite, watch the birdie and digging for gold
- 07/04/2024
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Interesting fact: Like the Olympic torch, the Seine protest will run through France. People can make donations anywhere upstream, with an online tool to calculate how long it will take to reach Paris.
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- Thou shalts, standard reply and parental discretion
- 06/27/2024
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Interesting fact: The Louisiana law explicitly outlines the version of the biblical text to be posted in classrooms. No word on whether these may be photoshopped onto Mel Brooks holding the 15, I mean 10 Commandments.
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- Jugs, passive aggressive texts and losing streaks
- 06/20/2024
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Interesting fact: Algae water is potentially toxic and does NOT grant superpowers, so do not go drinking it. How about, don’t listen to most things I say. This is a good general rule of thumb.
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- Planting thoughts, family togetherness and getting soaked
- 06/13/2024
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Interesting fact: According to BBC Earth, plants have feelings too. Great. A whole new kingdom for me to offend.
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- Roller rebirth, algorithm-noia and trimming the fat
- 06/06/2024
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Interesting fact: Roller skating uses 80% of your body’s muscles. And one wipeout can take off 100% of your knee skin.
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- Skeezery, raising raisins & thirst for truth
- 05/30/2024
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Interesting fact: The average dog owner in the U.S. spends about $1,400 annually on their pet. I want to know what discount code they’re using.
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- Glitching out, home alone and seeing red
- 05/23/2024
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Interesting fact: Remember The Sims? Their language, Simlish, is actually a combination of Ukrainian, French, Latin, Finnish, English, Fijian, Cebuan, and Tagalog. I wonder if they have a term for “existential angst.”
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- Loan forgiveness, dish duty and mommy issues
- 05/16/2024
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Interesting fact: Dinner guest etiquette guides vary, but there is one universal: Do not unload someone else’s dishwasher. Ever.
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