Ask Rachel

Interesting fact: There’s a whole “shopping cart theory” proposing that a person’s moral character is revealed by what they do with their cart in the parking lot. I propose that it’s better revealed by what questions they submit under obviously fake names to a newspaper columnist.

Interesting fact: Oils and dirt still build up on a bald scalp, so you should still use a dollop of shampoo on that light bulb. 

Interesting fact: Time magazine has a whole archival article to explain that absolutely no one understands where the tennis scoring system came from.

Interesting fact: Even at its worst level of performance, an indoor HEPA filter can capture 99.97% of airborne particles. No word on how that compares to my automotive air filter.

Interesting fact: Until the pandemic, Halloween candy season typically lasted six weeks. Now it’s 10 or 12. At least Covid gave us this one good thing.

Interesting fact: Colorado Revised Statute 42-3-202 is pretty unambiguous: “A person shall not operate a motor vehicle with an affixed device … that causes all or a portion of a license plate to be unreadable.” No word on what happens if you’re NOT a person.

Interesting fact: Scents fire straight into our limbic system, the parts of our brain directly correlated with emotion and memory. Too bad I never used odors to cram for my exams.

Interesting fact: There is no formula for determining a hilly city’s elevation. We simply pick a spot and measure it. Durango should have picked the Tele offices, just to refresh the number every so often.

Interesting fact: Mr. Rogers reportedly responded to every letter he received – from 50 to 100 a day. You should be happy I answer three a week.

Interesting fact: The longest Hollywood writers strike was 153 days in 1988. The worst was undoubtedly in 2007-08, which: a) cut short “30Rock” and b) brought back “The Apprentice."

Interesting fact: For several days in the Great Depression, the Colorado governor publicly proposed building a border wall with New Mexico, presumably somewhere between the “You’re leaving Colorado” sign and the “Welcome to New Mexico” one.

Interesting fact: Vin Diesel, voice actor, recorded all his own lines for “Guardians of the Galaxy” in 15 different languages. No word on which one was sexiest.

Interesting fact: One banana contains 3 grams of fiber (roughly 1/10 of the daily need), 100 calories (1/20 of the regular recommended intake) and one banana peel, which, let’s be frank, won’t get stepped on for a laugh near as often as you grew up thinking would happen. 

Interesting fact: The first recorded use of earplugs is in the Odyssey, when the ship’s crew blocks their ears against the siren song. So they deflect not only loud noises, but unwanted relationships, too.

Interesting fact: The Air Force has completely denied that it ran an AI simulation where the simulated AI drone killed its simulated human operator. This, of course, means that the Air Force absolutely certainly did not run such a simulation.

Interesting fact: It seems, for most people, 10-20 minutes of sunshine a day are ideal for getting vitamin D without the risk of excessive sun damage. So basically, pumping up my paddleboard is my upper limit on a lake day.

Interesting fact: Viagra rakes in about $500 million a year. The nursery greenhouse industry? $16 billion. Guess we know how folks really get their rocks off.

Interesting fact: OK, I did not realize that severe altitude sickness can cause brain swelling and fluid to fill your lungs. Please disregard all my medical opinions and advice, especially if you’re inclined to trust me on these things.