Whitey's revenge and drowning sorrows
The most amazing thing happened to me earlier this week. I watched my country become Nazi Germany. I watched red state after red state, driven by their love of the Bible and the gun, turn out in droves. We are no longer the United States of America. We are now the Re-whited States of WalMartiKKKa. We’re all winners!!!!!
The Ku Klux Klan got its way. I do believe the N word is back in fashion.
Misogynists got their way. We can now grab women by their pussies.
Energy voters got their way. We can now spread Mother Nature’s legs wide open and drill away.
Gun owners got their way. Feel free to take aim and open fire.
The religious right got its way. There is one god and only one god. Any- one who begs to differ will be shot.
The patriots got their way. Please direct Colin Kaepernick to the nearest tree for his lynching.
Russia got its way. Enjoy watching your bank accounts and credit cards get hacked at will.
You women better hope you don’t have an unplanned pregnancy. Because that Supreme Court? It’s going to over- turn Roe v. Wade immediately.
But hey at least we don’t have Hillary Clinton as president. Way to show her what’s what, Bernie people! That’ll teach her a lesson.
And the BERNIE OR BUST crowd? You really got your way. When Occupy Wall Street didn’t turn out their way, these Trustafarians really screwed up the system.
America. Love it or leave it. Or we’ll destroy you.
So go out and drown your sorrows. You can pickle your liver with May-day Moonshine, which is now an award-winning spirit. Congratulations to Durango Craft Spirits for its trifecta at the 2016 New York International Spirits Competition, which was just announced yesterday. DCS took home a gold medal for its Soiled Doves Vodka, a silver for Mayday Moonshine, and was awarded the Colorado Vodka Distillery of the Year. More than 600 distilleries from around the world competed. What makes DCS special is that from grain to glass, all of its ingredients are close to home, from Towoac to Alamosa. Maybe now some of those Rio Grande Land restaurants and bars that refuse to carry locally distilled booze will open their eyes.
Nitrovember is back at BREW Pub & Kitchen. That means lots of their own and guest beers are on nitro. There are also new beers on tap. Drown your sorrows in Jesus, the popular IPA enhanced with Yarrow. Or Joey, a coffee Kolsch made with Desert Sun’s organic Ethiopian roast. Or even Apple Ale, made with apples from Montezuma County.
You can always medicate your problems away – if not here, then in California, Nevada or Massachusetts, all of which voted to legalize recreational marijuana on Tuesday. Anybody else notice how the legal weed states all voted blue (with the exception of Alaska, which continues to prove that it’s our crazy, racist, doomsday-prepping uncle who has to live in the trailer park just north of the subdivision). Remember, kids, that freedom isn’t free. The shit’s expensive.
You can always choose to dance and drink your ass off at El Rancho at 8 p.m. Saturday, where the Lawn Chair Kings will hold the release party for their fourth album, “Virtually Acoustic.” This one was recorded live and represents the folksy/blue-grassy side of the group with the classic quartet lineup of Erik Nordstrom on guitar, Dan Leek on bass, Patrick Dressen on drums and Hap Purcell on banjo. Their sound has only gotten bigger with the addition of Alissa Wolf on fiddle. The Outskirts open.
You can even choose to drown your sorrows with generosity. KSUT Public Radio holds its 22nd annual Members’ Party & Silent Auction from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Saturday at Ska Brewing World Headquarters. Twenty-five bucks at the door gets you all the Ska beer you can drink and all the Durangourmet grub you can scarf. You can also bid on great outdoor gear, ski trips, dinner and concert pairings, music, and much more. Hundreds of folks attend this shindig every year. This time around, the money goes to a good cause – with the Republicans controlling the House, the Senate and the White House, funding for things like public radio could disappear quickly, forcing stations to be more self-sufficient. The San Juan Symphony continues its season with Brahms’ German Requiem featuring soloists Gemma Kavanagh and Seth Keeton, at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at the Community Con- cert Hall. The Durango Choral Society, Caliente Community Chorus and the FLC Chamber Choir will join in on the fun. If you miss the show, you can drive south to catch the requiem at San Juan College’s Henderson Theatre at 3 p.m. Sunday.
Elsewhere: The Black Velvet trio plays the Derailed Pour House at 7 p.m. Friday; and the Spinning Wheels roll into Dolores for an 8 p.m. Saturday gig at the Riverfront Bar and Grill.
That’s all I’ve got for you this week, folks. I’m late for my check-in at my concentration camp.
This is the end? Email me at email@example.com.
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