I've been let down

I've been let down
Maddy Gleason - 01/16/2025

Waking up to the news that we as a people had chosen to elect a convicted felon guilty on 34 counts and accused of sexual assault by at least 26 women was not as much of a shock as I had expected – but it still stung. 

The night of Nov. 5, 2024, left me with a deep pit in my stomach, one I know won’t let up for at least the next four years. Hatred won, once again. Trump’s victory in all seven swing states resulted in 312 electoral votes, beating Harris’ 226. Quite a disparity in votes for a country that pretends to love women. But it’s my belief that it’s quite the opposite. In terms of policy and representation, we have become a country that loathes the female body. Or loathes anyone not born with white, male privilege.

For anyone paying attention, this is nothing new. With Trump’s inauguration next week, we’ve got to band together and spread love, not hate. 

This doesn’t dismantle the pockets of hope that exist nationally and are incredibly strong, the networks of support that protect anyone who identifies as a deviation from the white, straight male trope. But it puts more pressure on them to survive. 

It’s been difficult to organize this piece. I feel so lost, I’m not sure how my writing is supposed to show the opposite. I keep coming back, not sure how vulnerable I want to be. I’ve also been told I don’t have enough years, enough experience to make some of these claims. I reject that: if the sexualization of the female body can exist, so should the right and journalistic responsibility to speak about it. 

Young women in America are fed so many messages that we are expected to digest with humility: don’t make yourself a victim; stand up for yourself; reject systems of power. 

What we are taught in our smaller circles doesn’t reflect on a larger scale. If you feel sad, if you’re sick, if you need advice, talk to your mom. Maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but I feel like it’s the rhetoric I’ve been fed as I grow up. 

But if a woman can be trusted to hold a family together – to provide and to care – why can’t she be trusted to run the country or hold positions of power in a space other than emotional support? I’m not equating the mere existence of womanhood to being capable of running the country, but the fact that these two paths haven’t intersected makes it clear just how much America values women when the uterus isn’t involved.

I’m lucky enough to live in Colorado, where bodily autonomy, choice and freedom are valued. But I feel deeply for the women in states where that choice isn’t theirs to make. I feel sick thinking about the women who have or who will experience violation of their bodies and identities through assault. If coming forward wasn’t discouraging enough before, how will survivors of sexual violence cope with seeing Trump, a confirmed abuser, sit on his golden toilet and evade all responsibility of these horrific actions?

The problem with Trump’s second presidency is that it essentially encourages disrespect of women. And what I’ve come to realize in the past couple months is that the women who voted red might not realize they’ve contributed to the female population being backed into a corner, surveilled at every turn.

The very presence of womanhood threatens a stable patriarchy, which has been made clear by the fight for bodily autonomy and constant efforts to restrict it. It’s seeming like anything will be done to dismantle femininity if it’s not expressed in a traditional way – no woman is safe. The patriarchy doesn’t care who you voted for – if you are a woman, you are lesser than your male counterpart. 

This anger has mobilized me; it makes me want to prompt conversations with those I may disagree with in a respectful way. I want to learn about their perspectives, and I want them to learn about mine. Maybe that way we can find middle ground. That’s the only solution to bridging the gap. I hope I can put aside my hatred for the hatred that exists – I know I can, but it will be challenging. Nothing’s going to be easy for a while, but at least we have each other. 

Trump’s presidential victory in 2016 marked my 15th year of living – this time around, I’m 22 – and just as scared. But I’m privileged to be part of a white, middle-class family in Colorado.

Coming of age as a young woman in the Trump era has been disappointing, liberating and mobilizing all at the same time. Existing in femininity is an uphill battle but one I am proud (and lucky) to fight. 

Maddy Gleason is a recent graduate of journalism and Spanish programs at CU Boulder and former co-head editor of the Durango High School newspaper El Diablo. She lives in Durango where she loves reading books in the sun, enjoying the altitude with her dogs and has rediscovered her crafty side.