This Week's Sign of the Downfall

Guinness World Rectum

A 66-year-old woman from Ireland went into the emergency room two weeks ago with stomach pains, and after a quick x-ray, the doctors diagnosed her with “having eaten 55 batteries.” After cutting into her abdomen to remove 46 of them, and “milking” the rest out of her rear end, the doctors discovered that the batteries were a mixture of “AA” and “AAA,” but more importantly, they also announced that this was a new world record for the total number of batteries found in a single patient. When asked for a comment, the doctors didn’t say, “we’re just glad everything came out alright in the end.”