Ask Rachel

What the fooch, love triangle and odd cat out

03/20/2025

Interesting fact: An average-sized pine tree can turn into about 100 pounds of toilet paper, or 1,500 rolls. No word on how many fooch wipes that same tree can make.

Burning question, doctors' orders and death wish: 03/13/2025; Interesting fact: Medical appointment times are set to the provider’s schedule, not yours. It’s a lot like how you have to arrive early for your flight, with an equally high chance of contracting something while there.; Read More

Following suit, persona non grata and sucking up: 03/06/2025; Interesting fact: Military fatigues come from the “fatigue duties” of soldiers, aka the work that will wear them out. By this reasoning, all my clothes at this point are fatigues.; Read More

The doll-drums, noodle nerd and giving the slip: 02/27/2025; Interesting fact: The slang term “noodle” for brain doesn’t actually come from the word for pasta – neither, shockingly, does the word “canoodle” – but both might come from when “noodle” meant “idiot.” Let’s bring this one back into fashion.; Read More

'Pops' psych, leggo my LEGOs and virgin territory: 02/20/2025; Interesting fact: LEGO is an abbreviation of the Danish “leg godt,” meaning “play well.” IKEA is an acronym for a bunch of words that sound like IKEA products.; Read More

Prime time, dating for dollars and Star Spangled manner: 02/13/2025; Interesting fact: Two-thirds of Americans do not know the words to the first verse of the national anthem. In fairness, who knows what a “gleaming” is, anyway?; Read More

Run for the border, Super Bore and photo opps: 02/06/2025; Interesting fact: Duolingo boasts more than 83 million monthly active users, and its avatars look more attractive than most dating app photos. Maybe that’s the place to start looking for amore.; Read More

Powder to the people, folked up and hallmarked: 01/30/2025; Interesting fact: Woody Guthrie was named “Woodrow Wilson Guthrie,” after the president, who was not yet president when Woody was born. Buzz Lightyear, in contrast, was named for Buzz Aldrin, whose sister pronounced “brother” as “buzzer.”; Read More

Cyber sucker, total zero and human guinea pigs: 01/23/2025; Interesting fact: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” came to us as an aphorism from philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. He clearly didn’t live long enough to add “… or dumber.”; Read More

A bookworm's dilemma, buttered up and selling out: 01/16/2025; Interesting fact: The butter compartment is, reportedly, the warmest part of the fridge, thus keeping butter easier to cut. And here I thought that’s what electric knives were for.; Read More

Right hand dogs, non-resolving and cell-free shopping

01/09/2025

Interesting fact: Dogs heel on the left because of right-handed dominance. This keeps your hand free for self-defense on the trail. Or, more likely, to better dispense dog treats.

At a loss, vive la résistance and key party

12/19/2024

Interesting fact: An eggcorn is a word or phrase misheard and altered in a plausible way. This was supposed to be a fact about potlucks, but an eggcorn sounds tastier than my last potluck contribution, so here we are.

Forbidden dance, coffee talk and guilt gifting: 12/12/2024; Interesting fact: Etiquette for professional coffee meetings is to meet for 30-60 minutes. Weirdly enough, no one seems to do professional tea parties anymore.; Read More

Pie holes, moment of silence and clean breaks

12/05/2024

Interesting fact: A commercial pecan has to be cleaned, sized, sterilized, cracked and shelled before being sold. Makes me feel fortunate that I have only to be proofread – if even that.

Time warp, frank incensed and adulting

11/28/2024

Interesting fact: In “Home Alone,” Macaulay Culkin had a 30-year-old stunt double. I’d like one of those to handle all my adulting stunts, please.

'70s slapping, dental dilemma and a new waste of time

11/21/2024

Interesting fact: Two L.A. Dodgers, Glenn Burke and Dusty Baker, are credited with inventing the high five in October 1977. Burke was also the first openly gay MLB player. I want to weaponize this Interesting Fact against every conservative family member this Thanksgiving – after high fiving them, of course.

Cat fights, parking pass and deworming: 11/14/2024; Interesting fact: Non-recognition aggression is when cats don’t know who their friends are after their friends go to the vet or get a bath. It’s also what I feel when I look at my family during the holidays.; Read More

Creepy tips and behind the covers

11/07/2024

Interesting fact: Seven percent of so-called adult Americans claim that they do not tip at all. Pretty sure every one of them sat in my section back in the day.

Getting salty, awkward accents and freedom of stickers

10/31/2024

Interesting fact: Adults need about 1-2 grams of salt per day to function properly. You might need a larger pinch than that to take with my advice.

The two-day rule, closet closeness and PSLoser: 10/17/2024; Interesting fact: Starbucks finally introduced (a minuscule amount of) pumpkin puree to their PSLs in 2015. Gourd for them.; Read More