Ask Rachel

Drawing the line, meter men & customer disservice
Drawing the line, meter men & customer disservice
05/19/2022

Interesting fact: The average business will hear from about 4% of its dissatisfied customers. Not me; I never survey people about how I’m doing.

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Do not enter, distracted driving & unwanted guests
Do not enter, distracted driving & unwanted guests
05/12/2022

Interesting fact: The 20th century was the heyday for euphemisms of the butt, the king of which is the keister (1930).

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The Animas High interns take over Rachel
The Animas High interns take over Rachel
05/05/2022

Interesting fact: In 2011, the Durango High School senior prank went haywire when the students filled the school with bales of hay, closing the school for four days after the hay released clouds of mold spores and dust.

 

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No. 2 crimes, so long yellow license plates & foul winds
No. 2 crimes, so long yellow license plates & foul winds
04/28/2022

Interesting fact: In honor of Earth Day, every answer uses the word “green.” So what if we forgot about Earth Day until after the fact?

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Scavengin' nuts, coffee OD & lameduck lobbyist
Scavengin' nuts, coffee OD & lameduck lobbyist
04/21/2022

Interesting fact: A lethal dose of caffeine is about 10 grams, or more than 100 double espresso shots. Volume wise, that’s only like 15 cans of beer. Challenge accepted.

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Stale cologne, coffee conundrum and cutting out
Stale cologne, coffee conundrum and cutting out
04/14/2022
Interesting fact: Fresh air and sunshine will do wonders for clingy odors. Tune in next week for what to do with your sun-bleached fancy dress clothes.
 
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Drinking to Ukraine, sticker shock and grand dilemma
Drinking to Ukraine, sticker shock and grand dilemma
04/07/2022
Interesting fact: I Snopes’d myself, and nope, produce stickers are edible only in the sense of “technically you can swallow it if you don’t choke on it.”
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Dodo don'ts, no pain/all gain & final plunge
Dodo don'ts, no pain/all gain & final plunge
03/31/2022

Interesting fact: The dodo bird went extinct in 1662, and while reports about the final cause of death are inconclusive, it was probably quicksand.

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Ripped jeans, No. 2 crimes & elitist Elons
Ripped jeans, No. 2 crimes &?elitist Elons
03/24/2022

Interesting fact: Front plates are, apparently, so aesthetically treasonous to snobby people that Tesla models don’t even come with front plate mounts (though they provide one that super uncool drivers can affix by themselves).

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Tie me up, leveling the field & haunted plants
Tie me up, leveling the field & haunted plants
03/17/2022

Interesting fact: A 7-year-old Louie XIV liked the knotted neck kerchiefs that Croatian mercenaries wore, and it’s thanks to that little brat that young men learn double Windsors on YouTube today. 

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Damned kids, friendly avoidance & personal yeller
Damned kids, friendly avoidance & personal yeller
03/10/2022

Interesting fact: Blonde hair can sell for up to three times the price of dark hair. Guess not everyone’s in it for Locks of Love.

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Matters of the heart, throwing shade & the age game
Matters of the heart, throwing shade & the age game
03/03/2022

Interesting fact: Drapes are curtains with a liner to block out more light. Draperies are just drapes for people trying to hit a syllable quota. 

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Tramp stamps, yellow snow and book thieves
Tramp stamps, yellow snow and book thieves
02/24/2022

Interesting fact: The urine from a healthy dog or cat is transparent yellow. So you should particularly avoid eating the cloudy yellow snow. And never touch tongue to orange or black.

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In a pickle, swinger-curious &?big jugs
In a pickle, swinger-curious &?big jugs
02/17/2022
Interesting fact: Pickleball’s name refers to the pickle boat; Pickles the pickleball founder’s family dog came years later and was named after the game. It remains entirely possible that the pickle boat was named for a predecessor Pickles dog lost to pickle history.
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Makin' no bones about it & falling flat
Makin' no bones about it & falling flat
02/10/2022

Interesting fact: Bubbles in drinks carry aromatic compounds to the nose, heightening the perception of flavor. Plus, they just tickle the tongue. Sorry I can’t go any further into the science without arousing my audience.

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Stoned spasms, year-round X-mas & out-of-office
Stoned spasms, year-round X-mas & out-of-office
02/03/2022

Interesting fact: “Fraggle Rock” was HBO’s first original series, and you can clearly see its creative impact on such successors as “The Sopranos” and “Sex and the City.”

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Wet January, doggie nail-biter and streak freaks
Wet January, doggie nail-biter and streak freaks
01/27/2022

Interesting fact: Despite the Sonoran sensation in your maw, marijuana does not actually dehydrate you. Unlike alcohol. So really, drinking booze should mean you’re “dry,” not the other way around? I give up. 

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Bear-naked, uppity coffee lovers & emergency contacts
Bear-naked, uppity coffee lovers & emergency contacts
01/20/2022

Interesting fact: Filtered water is actually not “sticky” enough to grab onto coffee flavors. You want hard water for the perfect cup, but only the right kind of hard water, by which (apparently) we don’t mean ice.

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Wet January, doggy nail-biter and streak freak
Wet January, doggy nail-biter and streak freak
01/13/2022
Interesting fact: Despite the Sonoran sensation in your maw, marijuana does not actually dehydrate you. Unlike alcohol. So really, drinking booze should mean you’re “dry,” not the other way around? I give up. 
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Coffeeholics, harshing all the mellows & no touching
Coffeeholics, harshing all the mellows & no touching
01/06/2022

Interesting fact: Coffee can make you tired because of something called “adenosine receptors.” Try it. Go read about them and see how tired it makes YOU feel.

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