Yak – it's what's for dinner?

I’m a master at breaking the ice. I’m naturally shy, so I have a handful of questions I prepare before going to a party or event where there may be people I’m meeting for the first time. Mind you, my questions go far beyond the usual. For guys, sports or hunting are safe topics to start with. I like digging a little deeper by asking, “In farming, what’s the difference between an accessory, an implement and an attachment?”

You need to be bit more sensitive with women. I always compliment them on what they’re wearing. I sometimes ask for a good Rocky Mountain oyster recipe. Or I’ll say, “I know it’s not polite to ask a woman her age. So how much do you weigh?”

I’m always on the lookout to refresh my icebreaking routine with new material. Recently, a goldmine dropped in my lap, one that will stimulate endless conversations using just three simple words: “Had yak lately?”

It’s funny you should mention that, because I did have a fine meal consisting of a Yak steak at the local rib and yakhouse. The yak filet was a special dinner item. Nothing gets my attention more than a menu of unusual food. Between the time we heard about the special and the time it came to order dinner, a number of questions filled my mind. 

How do you prepare yak? What is it, and where did it come from? What wine pairing would you recommend? 

These are not the questions you would ask if rattlesnake was on the menu. You know what a snake is, and it probably got run over on the highway. I’d guess it’s prepared either grilled or fried. I wouldn’t select a wine with my rattlesnake because I draw the line at eating rattlesnake meat.

As I pondered the yak conundrum, I started jotting down on the paper tablecloth anything yak-related with the crayons typically reserved for much younger customers. 

A movie title came to mind, “Love Yakually.” One of the stars, I think it was Yak Efron, plays a yakulele

I quickly devolved from a brainiyak and became a maniyak. I envisioned sports heroes, like Yakquille O’Neal and Carl Yakstremski. My tablemates thought I was going nuts, to which I replied, “Exyaktly.”

Thankfully, the server came by to take our order. She explained, likely for the 100th time, that yaks are bovines, so they are prepared in much the same manner as beef. I learned the breed originated in the Himalayans, not Yakistan as I proposed. Like beef, any red wine pairs well with the meat.

Yak is not your most elegant-looking mammal. The shaggy body makes it look like a grass hut on stilts, with horns spiraling out from its head. They are also useful for their wool, and their milk makes great cheese. 

We learned after dinner that the yak in question didn’t come from Tibet. It came from a local producer, one of a number of suppliers nationwide. I predict it won’t take long until an enterprising taxidermist (um ... yakzidermist) starts selling yakalope mounts. Not real sure what that would look like, though.

The International Union for Conservation of Nature lists the yak population as “vulnerable.” While raising domestic yak here in the states will ensure the species survives, it’s still considered mildly endangered. Which, coincidently, is how I like my yak prepared – medium rare.

Does this arrival of yak on the menu in cattle country portend a seismic shift away from more traditional sources of meat? Probably not. But it’s nice to know that as an American, you have choices. That, and a new icebreaker topic.