Au-con-chair mes amis

For the ski “track” record, your article left a little to be completed. Tracktually, there are at least a half-dozen of us Monoskiistas up here at Purgatory. Some of our boards are older than Mustard. That doesn’t imply we don’t like him. Quite the contrary; it’s good to see people of all ages with mono. We are a small tribe but a proud one at that. Due to our clandestine nature, we generally shy from the public eye and ski in single formation. Take for example, my friend Steve Manoski. To celebrate the eclipse, he entered the pantheon of skiing obscurity by 100 grinding a rail during a solar eclipse on a mono on his 100th day.
As certified by the “Tecate Book of Unusual Records,” he was the first to do so. His record will probably, or definitely certainly, upon checking the solar eclipse predictions, stand for another 21 years, reminding no one until this publication that monoskiing is alive and well in the San Juans.
Who knows? If we are lucky and the shadows align, maybe we could host Monopurgalooza next season.
– Tomas Monet, Durango
Editor’s note: Hi Tom-ono – thanks for writing. Please know, we were in no way insinuating that Cal is the only monoskier at Purg. In fact, we allude to the shadowy existence of your reclusive tribe in the story. Merely, it was meant as a profile of a young person who is eschewing the mainstream ski culture and breathing new life into this, uh, vintage art. Sorry we missed the mystical rail grind.