Draperies, profits and visions

In time of war, traditionally our nation has turned to our president for words of strength, reassurance and vision so that we may continue our lives, though nervous, in unity and hope. How has Trump met that responsibility? The following are notably insightful quotes from him, examples of how he has bolstered the Nation’s psyche in our time of uncertainty.

This is from when he was scheduled to address our nation and the world about the need for and status of the war in Iran: “See that nice drape?” Trump said, pointing to gold drapery behind him. “When that comes down right now you see a very, very deep hole, but in about a year and half from now, you’re gonna see a very, very beautiful building. And there’s your entrance to it right there … I think I’ll even, I’ll save money on the doors because you can’t get more beautiful than that (the gold drapes). I picked those drapes … I always liked gold, but I think we can save a lot of money. I just saved, I just saved curtains.

“It’ll be spectacular; it’ll be the most beautiful ballroom … I believe it’s going to be the most beautiful ballroom anywhere in the world.”

Gold drapes that he himself picked with his eye for tacky opulence and magnificent ballrooms that he himself oversees the construction of, those were his restorative words on the Iran War. We heard that and knew that anyone who has actualized his potential in interior decorating surely has the skills to lead us through armed conflict.

A further attempt at reassurance was given when he said proudly: “The United States is the largest oil producer in the world, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money.” Need a reason to start a war? There’s one. “We make a lot of money.”

Time was that war profiteering was not only seen as unpatriotic but was a punishable offense. But wait, it actually still is a punishable offense, if the DOJ chooses to enforce the 2007 War Profiteering Prevention Act. The question is: Who is the “we” who is going to make a lot of money? It sure is not you and I paying at the pump. Evidently “we” would be the Trump family and all their closest amigos at Exxon, Chevron, Conoco Phillips and Marathon Petroleum, now raking it in since their costs of production have not risen while the price of their product has soared. Now there’s a business model.  All you need is a war, and profits go through the roof. If that is not considered prosecutable under the 2007 War Profiteering Prevention Act, what is?

And finally there is Trump the seer. Fox News Radio asked The Oracle-in-Chief about how long the war would last, to which he replied that he didn’t think the war “would be long” which arguably gave him some open-ended wiggle room. But sensing that, he got real and reassured listeners that only he, no one else, only he will know when it is over, and that will be “when I feel it, feel it in my bones.”

You will not find osteo-clairvoyance as a component of any accepted military strategy. Neither Sun Tzu or Von Clausewitz highlighted it in their renown works on war, nor is it taught in any of our military academies. Will West Point, the U.S. Naval Academy, the Air Force Academy and all three war colleges now be required by Pete Hegseth to incorporate that hitherto overlooked discipline of “Feeling it in my bones” into their mandatory curriculums?

So it has come to this: our President babbling about drapery, oil profits and marrow vision. If the White House conducted a poll of people who had heard these Consoler-in-Chief profundities, would a majority of MAGA voters share this opinion: “What, me worry?” Or would they rush to the I Ching?

– Josh Joswick, Bayfield