Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

I’m on this new mucus-reducing diet, which sounds totally sexy, I know. I decided to do it because my voice is important for my job, and I thought this seemed like a nice way to care for my body. But it turns out I can eat absolutely nothing but lemons, salmon and chamomile tea. Leastwise that’s what it feels like. All my favorite foods are OUT. How long do I need to stick with this diet before it goes from “quitting it” to “completed it?”

– Losin’ the Loogies

Dear Stuffed Up,

Your diet sounds like a good idea, but it’s snot. Like just about any diet that’s not a medical necessity, I wonder, why are you doing this to yourself? Make micro-adjustments if you want to attain a booger-free existence. Gradual changes mean you’re not “on” a diet you can then “quit.” Like, start with Milkless Mondays, and then Taco-Free Tuesdays, and then cry into your chamomile on Wednesday and see how much mucus comes out.

– Insane in the membrane, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

Maybe you can explain to me what makes a photograph “art” as opposed to “look, I pressed the button at the right place at the right time.” I mean, is there anything that makes a photographer more special than me, besides having a better camera? I’ve taken some pretty cool shots of mountains and things, but I don’t open a gallery on Main. Nor would I ever. So what’s the difference?

– Ansel Adontgetit

Dear Photo Bombed,

You can write words, as well – you just did so in that letter! – but you, my dear, are no Mark Twain or George Eliot. They aren’t great writers because they had great pens. They’re great writers because they can translate the world in ways all of us can understand but none of us can duplicate. Perhaps you should accost a photographer on the street someday and ask them to explain to you how their craft is different than your Insta feed. They’d love that.

– Say cheese, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

Sushi. Weird, right? I mean, I shouldn’t need to say any more than that, but I will in case you are one of these strange Americans who thinks stuffing raw fish into his or her mouth is OK just because it’s rolled up with some rice and avocado. Not only is the whole concept strange, but people are willing to pay massive bucks for a meal smaller than an appetizer. Can you shed any light on this phenomenon that just won’t die?

– Meat and Taters

Dear Sam I Am,

Wait ... Sam I am is the one trying to get the other guy to try new foods, huh? So you’re Herman, that indefatigable naysayer who won’t try ham and eggs just because of some cultural stigmas around unnaturally green foods. When’s the last time you heard of someone dying from sushi, huh? And no one’s making you spend big bucks on it. That is, unless it’s the only thing you can eat on your no-booger diet.

– With extra salmonella, Rachel

Top Shelf

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
By Chris Aaland
02/11/2021

Philadelphia freedom, Brothers Gibb & pirates on the mic

Rock in peace
Rock in peace
By Chris Aaland
01/07/2021

Mourning 2020’s lost musical voices and childhood missed chances 
 

Quaran-tunes
Quaran-tunes
By Chris Aaland
12/17/2020

What to listen to while waiting out a pandemic
 

Stay calm and folk on
Stay calm and folk on
By Chris Aaland
09/03/2020

KSUT streams virtual Four Corners Folk Festival this Friday
 

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Cold comfort
Cold comfort
12/17/2020

Seeking solstice solace in the dog days of winter

A Grand escape
A Grand escape
By Stephen Eginoire
11/19/2020

Pandemic fatigue? Forget the world with three weeks on the Colorado

The living museum
The living museum
By Stephen Eginoire
10/15/2020
A day at the beach
A day at the beach
By Stephen Eginoire
06/18/2020

What does one do when their favorite summer swimming hole is teeming with reptilian and amphibian aquatic life?

Read All in Day on the Life