Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Yeah yeah, it’s nearly June and it’s still snowing. We get it. Why do you all have to keep talking about it, taking pictures of it, and talking about it some more? Sure, it’s pretty neat to ride the Iron Horse while stopping to take a run on your skis. That’s cool. The dusting of white atop your previous dusting of white atop your patio furniture? No one cared in the first place, and no one cares now.

- Snowdowner

Dear Edward Snowdone,

Where are you that you’re hearing all these stories and seeing all these pictures of the snow? I live a pretty normal life, and none of my friends are talking about it beyond a cursory mention. Ok, fine, I don’t live a normal life. And OK, fine, I don’t exactly have what you’d call “friends.” So maybe I’m not the authority on this subject. Or any subject, really. Why are you even writing me for advice?

I can’t believe it’s still snowing, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I can put up with a lot of crap from roommates, but my current cohabitant has an issue with closing bags. Namely, she doesn’t. All the easy-to-reseal bags with zippers and Velcro just get left wide open. Tortillas go stale. Grapes get spilled. And you can forget about closing bags with chip clips. Closing bags has got to be the simplest way to live a civilized life, but she’s just incapable. How can I get her to take the steps to keep our food fresh?

- Zip Tied

Dear Zip Line in the Sand,

I had a roommate once who literally never washed a dish unless he was about to use it, and then he put it dirty right back in the sink. I washed his dishes for a while, then I stopped, figuring that would show him. He let the dishes pile up in the sink until they kissed the faucet, and then he put them in a box on the counter where they sat until I moved out and decided I could never trust people again. There’s probably a lesson for you in there somewhere.

– Zip it good, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I have a secret. It’s a big secret. I feel like I can’t tell anyone this secret, though, even though it’s a positive secret. I guess I feel like if I  spill the beans, I’ll be jinxing it, and it’ll all fall apart. But I also want the joy of telling my friends the news and rubbing it in the faces of my enemies. I don’t know when I can share the secret, but maybe the world already knows because we live in a surveillance state. Should I tell?

– Secret Society of One

Dear Lock Box,

I hate to tell you, but as much as you think your news will rattle the world, lives will go on. Children will still be born, the sun will set, and people will continue to post videos with amazement of slushy rain falling after Memorial Day.

– Shhh, Rachel

Top Shelf

Acoustic blues, rockin' at Ernie's  & smokin' that bluegrass
Acoustic blues, rockin' at Ernie's & smokin' that bluegrass
By Chris Aaland
10/17/2019

October is a busy time around the Aaland household. Annual highlights, including apple pressing, pumpkin gathering, wood splitting, chile cooking and leaf raking, and seem to take up every possible moment of the weekend.

Crescent City classics, wounded warriors & coming of the Scots
Crescent City classics, wounded warriors & coming of the Scots
By Chris Aaland
10/10/2019

For my 51st birthday last spring, my buddy Dirk Lang gave me a copy of the behemoth The Encyclopedia of Cajun & Creole Cuisine.

Townies, Floydheads and gathering of the clans
Townies, Floydheads and gathering of the clans
By Chris Aaland
10/03/2019

Old friends are something we can all use more of. Musically speaking, this week is filled with many of them.

Silver beerware, Led tributes and a golden god
Silver beerware, Led tributes and a golden god
By Chris Aaland
09/26/2019

My wife, Shelly, just returned from five days in Nashville, where she attended a work conference.

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Total Slackers
Total Slackers
10/17/2019

What started out as a method for rock climbers to hone their balance and concentration (and remain entertained on rest days), slacklining has evolved into a full-blown sport, if not art.

Wandering on the Juan
Wandering on the Juan
By Stephen Eginoire
10/10/2019

Originating high in the alpine landscape of Colorado’s southern San Juan Mountains, the San Juan River carves its way 383 miles from mountain to desert, meandering into three states on its way to Lake Powell.

True Colors
True Colors
10/03/2019

Much to the delight of those who love the colors of autumn, this season is one for the books.

Leave Only Footprints
Leave Only Footprints
By Stephen Eginoire
09/26/2019

Perhaps one of the more curious details left behind by the original inhabitants that once roamed the western Colorado and southern Utah landscape are the ancient hand and toe trails known as moki steps.

Read All in Day on the Life