Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

Is there a rule of thumb for when to throw out cut flowers? My partner seems to think the appropriate time is to toss the whole bunch as soon as the first flowers show the first signs of wilting. I hold that you pull out the dying flowers and keep the others, until the very last flower bids the world a soft adieu. I say aesthetics wins; he says rotting flowers are bad for health. What? But I’ll defer to you, Rachel.

- Flower Child

Dear Petal Pusher,

What kind of monster throws out cut flowers that are still kicking? Well, not kicking, exactly. They’re dying plants. But still – if you’re going to murderously chop flowers off at the knees or, worse, pay dozens of dollars for someone else to do the dirty work for you, then you better enjoy every last dying wheeze from those bastards. But when it’s time to dump them, it’s time. Don’t linger.

– Roses on your grave, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

What do you think is the best way to determine the greatest guitarist of all time? It’s not like trying to imagine who would win in an athletic GOAT competition, since musicians don’t exactly compete. Record sales or popularity seem like crappy criteria, because the general populace doesn’t exactly have good taste. We could go with impact on other guitarists, but that leaves out all the younger guitarists out there. Help us out here, Rachel!

– Axes to Grind

Dear Shredders,

Why does someone have to be the best? Isn’t it good enough for there to be more good-enough guitarists out there than you will ever hear in a lifetime? Probably not, or you wouldn’t be here. I think we have to resort to science. In a controlled experiment, blast all the top competitors, from Jack White to Sister Rosetta Tharpe, from bedrooms everywhere, and see which ones it takes longest for the parents to tell you to turn down.

– Rock and roll will never die, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

Everyone’s making fun of Trump (big shocker) for his comment that the moon is part of Mars. Ha ha, yeah, that’s pretty dumb. Except that I looked at the original Tweet (at my own peril), and it’s clear to me that our moldy citrus fruit of a president meant that any Mars program would necessarily involve a moon program, too. This makes me question every other time we’ve made fun of Trump for saying something stupid. Is it possible we should all be a little more generous in our evaluations?

– Moon Shot

Dear Green Cheese,

I think you’re right about this one particular instance. He said something (relatively, vaguely) sane in a stupid way. But let’s not get carried away here. The real problem is that our alternative to laughing at him is to despair at how he’s trampling America like an overinflated Godzilla on meth. We don’t throw him out like wilted flowers by making fun of him. If only there were another way to replace him...

– Mars or bust, Rachel

Top Shelf

Long live rock!
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It’s been nearly two months since “Top Shelf” last graced these pages. In my first 12-plus years of writing this column, I think I only missed two weeks.

Raised on radio
Raised on radio
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Social distancing is driving many of us stir crazy, especially after last week’s big dump. Not only do we crave physical interaction with each other, but we’re also an active community.

The week the music died
The week the music died
By Chris Aaland
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For more than 12 years, I’ve written “Top Shelf” on a weekly basis as a column about the local music scene and nightlife. I also drift into sports, pop culture and political territory from time to time. And, on far too many occasions, I’ve paid homage to a family member or friend who has passed, like my son, brother, mother and festival friend. 

Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
By Chris Aaland
03/12/2020

Perhaps the biggest and baddest Durango Celtic Festival to date runs tonight (Thurs., March 12) through Sunday, with events alternating between the Henry Strater Theatre and the Irish Embassy Pub. This year’s line up is one of the best in the festival’s history, with five internationally acclaimed artists. 

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Day in the Life

Soaking it up
Soaking it up
05/21/2020
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
04/30/2020

A look at some (OK, all) of the Telegraph's coloring page submissions

Sole man
Sole man
03/12/2020

At the age of 19, Durango’s Mervin “Merv” Stilson started making shoes and never looked back (except for the time he made a Western-style jacket for Neil Young).

Wonder wall
Wonder wall
By Stephen Eginoire
03/05/2020

Southeastern Utah has no shortage of natural wonders, and perhaps one of the most curious is the 80-mile-long sandstone monocline known as Comb Ridge. 

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