Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

Headlights have gotten too bright. It’s to the point where I can’t even see the road when there’s an oncoming car. Normally I would just flash them with my own brights (the nighttime equivalent of the middle finger), but you see, I have to leave my brights on all the time, because my car is so old that the “brights” still don’t reach the car in front of me. Flashing them would give away that I’m also a jerk leaving my brights on all the time. How else can I communicate to the other jerks on the road?

- Guiding Lights

Dear Bright Idea,

Have you ever heard that saying about casting the first stone? Oh, forget it. Here’s what I’ll tell you instead. I was recently stuck in a pile-up between Durango and Pagosa. Farther than the eye could see. And a guy behind me got out of his car with his dog and his unicycle, and they proceeded to romp around the vacant oncoming lane like this delay was the greatest gift they could have received. There’s a moral in there somewhere; be like that guy and figure it out.

– Beep beep honk honk, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

You mean to tell me that, after a winter we’ll all be telling our grandchildren about, we still have forest fires? If that amount of precipitation and snowpack isn’t enough to stop the world from burning, then are we really, truly doomed?

- Doomsday Clock

Dear Prophet,

Fires are a natural component of a forest’s life cycle. Lightning strikes, or a raccoon whacks two pieces of flint together, and boom! It’s time for a little wildland redecorating. Here’s what I’ll tell you, though: I was recently stuck in a pile-up between Durango and Pagosa. Farther than the eye could see. And a guy in front of me got out of his car and proceeded to smoke cigarettes among all the growth off the shoulder. There’s a moral in there somewhere; while you figure it out, don’t be like that guy.

– Only you, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I’m looking for a bit of Netflix etiquette. My supposed BFF and I started bingeing a series together. Okay, we watched the first three episodes, but still, that’s a commitment. I strung myself out all week long while she was out of town, awaiting her return to resume our show. Only to find out, she watched a season and a half in her hotel room. Without me! This is sacrilege, right? Nearly friendship-ending. Or am I, in her words, overreacting?

– Sucker Punched

Dear Live Stream,

Time for you to Netflix and chill the eff out. Unless you and your BFF have had a Netflix commitment ceremony, you have no rights to each other’s internet time. Who knows what boredom she was staving off in that hotel room. I know when I was recently stuck in a pile-up between Durango and Pagosa – far as the eye could see – I was in a dead spot and couldn’t watch anything on my phone. If I could have, no friendship pact on Earth could have stopped me.

– Next episode begins in five, Rachel

Top Shelf

Long live rock!
Long live rock!
By Chris Aaland
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It’s been nearly two months since “Top Shelf” last graced these pages. In my first 12-plus years of writing this column, I think I only missed two weeks.

Raised on radio
Raised on radio
By Chris Aaland
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Social distancing is driving many of us stir crazy, especially after last week’s big dump. Not only do we crave physical interaction with each other, but we’re also an active community.

The week the music died
The week the music died
By Chris Aaland
03/19/2020

For more than 12 years, I’ve written “Top Shelf” on a weekly basis as a column about the local music scene and nightlife. I also drift into sports, pop culture and political territory from time to time. And, on far too many occasions, I’ve paid homage to a family member or friend who has passed, like my son, brother, mother and festival friend. 

Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
By Chris Aaland
03/12/2020

Perhaps the biggest and baddest Durango Celtic Festival to date runs tonight (Thurs., March 12) through Sunday, with events alternating between the Henry Strater Theatre and the Irish Embassy Pub. This year’s line up is one of the best in the festival’s history, with five internationally acclaimed artists. 

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Day in the Life

Soaking it up
Soaking it up
05/21/2020
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
04/30/2020

A look at some (OK, all) of the Telegraph's coloring page submissions

Sole man
Sole man
03/12/2020

At the age of 19, Durango’s Mervin “Merv” Stilson started making shoes and never looked back (except for the time he made a Western-style jacket for Neil Young).

Wonder wall
Wonder wall
By Stephen Eginoire
03/05/2020

Southeastern Utah has no shortage of natural wonders, and perhaps one of the most curious is the 80-mile-long sandstone monocline known as Comb Ridge. 

Read All in Day on the Life