Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I made a deep, dark promise to myself this year that I would keep on top of my tax receipts so that next April 14 is not a flying crapshow. Well, it’s worked, in so far as I have all my receipts in one place. OK, fine, three places. But only because the first two stacks fell over to create the need for a third one. Seriously, how do other people do this? The absolute last thing I want to do when I get home is tally how much money I spent.

– Overtaxed

Dear Budget Crisis,

I hear you can hire someone to do these things for you? Like, handle your taxes? And stuff? Honestly, I’m not sure how that works, because I’ve never had so much money that I can pay someone else to handle all my money for me. But think how cool that would be. Someone who looks at all my credit card statements, and turns them into tax shelters, and writes off the dividends, and yeah, like I said, I don’t know what I’m talking about.

– Cha-ching, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I haven’t slept in three days now. The first night was all tossing and turning, angsting over being too hot and frustrated at the clock. After a failed nap the next day, I just gave in the next night and binge-watched Ryan Reynolds movies. After three nights, I’m pretty sure I’m seeing Keebler elves where there aren’t any Keebler elves. Any idea how to knock myself out, short of Benadryl and beer?

– Sleepless in Durango

Dear Clockwork Orange,

I knocked myself out once on Benadryl and beer. I was flying internationally and really wanted to be rested when I arrived. No one ever told me just how bad an idea that was. Basically, I’m lucky to be alive, and I like to think that I developed superpowers from the experience. So how can you sleep? Some people want white noise, others silence. Some folks want the TV, others the stars. But damn, put on something a lot less hot than RR if sleeping is your aim.

– One bourbon, one scotch, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

How long is the right amount of time to let a car noise go undiagnosed? I don’t actually experience any shift in performance. There’s no discernable problem. And the sound goes away as soon as I come to a complete stop, so there’s no way for me to pop the hood and see what’s wrong. I’m hoping I can just run like this forever. Think I can get away with it?

– Good Karma

Dear Click and Clack,

In our lives, we all rack up a certain amount of car karma (note to editor: I refuse to conflate this into one word, or start them with two K’s). If you’ve led a good, clean life, you are unlikely to have anything go wrong so long as you keep up with regular maintenance. However, if you ever stole from your grandma or coveted Ryan Reynolds when you should be sleeping ... well, let’s hope you have AAA. Or that you have someone who handles your money for you.

– Don’t drive like my brother, Rachel

Top Shelf

Long live rock!
Long live rock!
By Chris Aaland
05/21/2020

It’s been nearly two months since “Top Shelf” last graced these pages. In my first 12-plus years of writing this column, I think I only missed two weeks.

Raised on radio
Raised on radio
By Chris Aaland
03/26/2020

Social distancing is driving many of us stir crazy, especially after last week’s big dump. Not only do we crave physical interaction with each other, but we’re also an active community.

The week the music died
The week the music died
By Chris Aaland
03/19/2020

For more than 12 years, I’ve written “Top Shelf” on a weekly basis as a column about the local music scene and nightlife. I also drift into sports, pop culture and political territory from time to time. And, on far too many occasions, I’ve paid homage to a family member or friend who has passed, like my son, brother, mother and festival friend. 

Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
By Chris Aaland
03/12/2020

Perhaps the biggest and baddest Durango Celtic Festival to date runs tonight (Thurs., March 12) through Sunday, with events alternating between the Henry Strater Theatre and the Irish Embassy Pub. This year’s line up is one of the best in the festival’s history, with five internationally acclaimed artists. 

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Soaking it up
Soaking it up
05/21/2020
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
04/30/2020

A look at some (OK, all) of the Telegraph's coloring page submissions

Sole man
Sole man
03/12/2020

At the age of 19, Durango’s Mervin “Merv” Stilson started making shoes and never looked back (except for the time he made a Western-style jacket for Neil Young).

Wonder wall
Wonder wall
By Stephen Eginoire
03/05/2020

Southeastern Utah has no shortage of natural wonders, and perhaps one of the most curious is the 80-mile-long sandstone monocline known as Comb Ridge. 

Read All in Day on the Life