Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Dear Rachel,

As cold and flu season rolls in, I’m willing to do just about anything to prevent myself from catching the bugs. I can’t believe that things like crystals or sage-burning do a darn thing, but my friend swears by onions. Not eating them, just putting them around the house like she’s warding off vampires. I’d laugh it off, but I wonder if that mythological vampire bit has roots in reality. Should I give it a shot?

– Flu Bugger

Dear Bad Breath,

Sounds to me like propaganda from the onion union. I mean, putting onions around your house can’t hurt, right? Unless you’re allergic to onions. Then it might hurt a lot. I must say, it’s possible the onions would make a difference. At least, I’ve never read a study that said they don’t work. Kind of like how you can’t prove to me that aliens don’t exist, or that Roseanne and Rosie O’Donnell aren’t the same person. That said, maybe you should just get a flu shot.

– Doctor recommended, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

Are you familiar with the graphic that depicts the right of way on trails? Bikes yield to both people and horses, and people yield to horses. Where do dogs fit on this graphic? And would dogs even be able to understand it? Seems like bikers should yield to dogs, because bikers not yielding to dogs means I now have a dog terrified of bikes. But maybe they ought to yield to people? Who outranks the other, dogs or horses? I’m struggling to sort it out.

– Wrong of Way

Dear Traffic Jam,

Let’s disregard that dogs are supposed to be on leashes. Because if we’re honest with ourselves, Durango dogs don’t even have leashes. I say dogs should yield to everyone. And not because they’re bottom beasts on the totem pole. But because every dog I’ve ever hiked with spends more time rummaging through underbrush and digging up ground squirrels and rolling in cow turds than actually, you know, walking on the trail. Bikers should still yield anyway, though, because scaring dogs is just wrong, man.

– Share the trail, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I’m getting tired of feeling like I’m supposed to leave a review for every little thing. It was OK when my only reviews were on eBay. Now, you can review every restaurant, every Airbnb, every haircut. It’s ridiculous. I choose not to review, but honestly, I’m fascinated by all the people who do it. Who has that much time? Who feels the need to give a rating to every hamburger they ever eat? And most of all, why?

– Five Star Bewilderment

Dear Reviewer,

Sure, it’s ridiculous. But it’s also performance art. I have a relative, married into the family, who reads aloud  one-star reviews of strip clubs in Vegas. If you haven’t read these, you really should. Tales of robbery and deceit. Reports of ugly strippers and uglier bouncers. Rooms where the bright lights are accidentally turned on for fleeting moments. Let’s just say, if there ain’t onions out in these places, they definitely couldn’t hurt.

– One star, Rachel

Top Shelf

Raised on radio
Raised on radio
By Chris Aaland
03/26/2020

Social distancing is driving many of us stir crazy, especially after last week’s big dump. Not only do we crave physical interaction with each other, but we’re also an active community.

The week the music died
The week the music died
By Chris Aaland
03/19/2020

For more than 12 years, I’ve written “Top Shelf” on a weekly basis as a column about the local music scene and nightlife. I also drift into sports, pop culture and political territory from time to time. And, on far too many occasions, I’ve paid homage to a family member or friend who has passed, like my son, brother, mother and festival friend. 

Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
By Chris Aaland
03/12/2020

Perhaps the biggest and baddest Durango Celtic Festival to date runs tonight (Thurs., March 12) through Sunday, with events alternating between the Henry Strater Theatre and the Irish Embassy Pub. This year’s line up is one of the best in the festival’s history, with five internationally acclaimed artists. 

Sensible dance, world fusion and radio gaga
Sensible dance, world fusion and radio gaga
By Chris Aaland
03/05/2020

It’s Film Fest week here in D-Town, meaning the 15th annual Durango Independent Film Festival takes over many of the screens at the Animas City, Gaslight and Durango Stadium theatres for documentaries, features, shorts and more. Durangofilm.org is a great source for a full schedule, descriptions of films and more.

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Turns for the worse
Turns for the worse
By Stephen Eginoire
03/19/2020

Skiing isn't as glamorous as folks make it out to be.

Sole man
Sole man
03/12/2020

At the age of 19, Durango’s Mervin “Merv” Stilson started making shoes and never looked back (except for the time he made a Western-style jacket for Neil Young).

Wonder wall
Wonder wall
By Stephen Eginoire
03/05/2020

Southeastern Utah has no shortage of natural wonders, and perhaps one of the most curious is the 80-mile-long sandstone monocline known as Comb Ridge. 

Salty dogs
The river wild
By Stephen Eginoire
02/27/2020

Jonesing for a river fix? Come along for the ride on  this desert classic

Read All in Day on the Life