Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Every year, I think I’m going to stay home and avoid the Snowdown craziness. Then I have a change of heart (and liver) Friday night and throw something together on the fly. This year, I’m ahead of the game. I’m planning my change of heart, despite my liver’s protests, for Thursday evening right after your new paper comes out. Any costume advice using things that the common Durangotang can find in the back of the closet and/or the Subaru?

Rock Against the Clock

Dear Rage Against the Alcohol-Industrial Complex,

Whatever gender you are, you have flannel shirts and old blue jeans. Insta-grunge costume. Easiest cop-out ever. Bonus points if you don’t bathe your hair for the duration of the beard-growing contest. Or, you could join me in going full Syd Barrett: we’ll be legendary for going recluse for Snowdown, and no one will hear from us for 40 years.

– It’s a long way to the top, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I left my wallet at a restaurant next town over, and this led to a debate about morals and ethics that has imperiled my marriage. Can I, in good conscience, drive my car without my license, so long as it’s to go pick up my license? One of us thinks that karma for all my past misdeeds will choose this time to instigate a traffic violation while I’m without license. The other one thinks I should just shut up already and quit asking her to give me a ride to recover the wallet that I am responsible for forgetting. Can you settle this for us?

- ID-less in Durango

Dear All Superego and No Bite,

You’re both right. You can’t drive yourself, and she has no reason to shuttle your butt. It’s time for you to jump on Craigslist and ask for a ride from a complete stranger. It’s like Uber, but without the sense of security. Plus, it’s nice to chip in for gas money. Once you get your wallet back, of course. That little gesture might make all the difference between making it home and making it into someone’s freezer.

– All aboard, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

When my friend comes to visit with his dog, the dog sheds everywhere. Now I love both the friend and the dog visiting, and I don’t mind the fur. What I’m wondering is whether I should make him sweep it up before he leaves. I’m the host, so I figure it’s my responsibility. But it’s his dog, so it’s his duty. Southern politeness has kept me from saying peep, but I’m about to pop from indecisiveness.

– Hairy Situation

Dear Fuzzy Wuzzy,

Garbage is simply a resource out of place. You have a fantastic opportunity this week only. Don’t sweep up the fur at all. Take a ratty old jacket and roll it around in the fur. Then, come Thursday or Friday night, sell it as an Elton John jacket to some desperate Snowdowner who will pay anything to stand out among all the flannel.

– Brush me, Rachel

Top Shelf

Stay calm and folk on
Stay calm and folk on
By Chris Aaland
09/03/2020

KSUT streams virtual Four Corners Folk Festival this Friday
 

The father of folk
The father of folk
By Chris Aaland
08/27/2020

Remembering Pagosa festival founder Dan Appenzeller

 

Remembering two singing cowboys
Remembering two singing cowboys
By Chris Aaland
07/09/2020

More than a century ago, Ada Habershon and Charles Gabriel wrote what would become one of the most popular Christian hymns of all-time, “Will the Circle Be Unbroken.”

A secret mission
A secret mission
By Chris Aaland
06/25/2020

Gather the backyard 'quaranteam' for reimagined community concerts

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

A day at the beach
A day at the beach
By Stephen Eginoire
06/18/2020

What does one do when their favorite summer swimming hole is teeming with reptilian and amphibian aquatic life?

Soaking it up
Soaking it up
05/21/2020
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
04/30/2020

A look at some (OK, all) of the Telegraph's coloring page submissions

Sole man
Sole man
03/12/2020

At the age of 19, Durango’s Mervin “Merv” Stilson started making shoes and never looked back (except for the time he made a Western-style jacket for Neil Young).

Read All in Day on the Life