Ask Rachel

Dear Rachel,

My favorite hike in the area is Ice Lake. It’s so beautiful! Even if it takes me 10 days to recover, the view is worth every leg cramp. But the problem is, it’s so popular. Last time, when the rains hit, the descent was like being in a mule train. There were so many people getting away from it all. Where else has great views without all the people?

– John Muir

Dear Intrepid Explorer,

Where else has great views without all the people? Dude, have you even looked around? I recommend you start walking out your door one morning and just see where you end up. I guarantee there’s a view. Plus you’ll have the reward of discovering the hot spots for yourself. That’s why I’m not giving you tips on my favorite hikes ... that, and I’m a selfish jackass.

– Go your own way, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I work with a bunch of whiners who like to talk about how they shouldn’t eat any food that has calories, ever. That’s their word – “oh, I shouldn’t!” But of course, these same people bring snacks to the work-place on any occasion. Like National Ice Cream Sandwich Day, someone

brought cake, and they all nibble at it because they’re starving dieters. But I’ll eat without shame. So if there’s cake in the breakroom, what size piece am I allowed to cut for myself before it’s too big?

- Gluttony Is My Favorite Sin

Dear Pigout,

There’s tons of factors to consider here, like the number of people in your office, the size and frequency of the cake, the occasion– e.g., is there a birthday recipient? – the availability of paper plates. But the correct answer is always 3x3. That’s how big is OK. There’s an even better answer, though: don’t eat any, because break-room cake is always a disappointment made of stomach cramps. Go home and eat an ice cream sandwich instead.

– Say when, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m writing to you from my friendly neighborhood laundromat. For a place based on cleaning things, it’s amazing to me how dirty it feels. I don’t want my skin to touch anything there. It’s not that I actually see dirt or germs, per se. I just always feel like I’m playing a game of “Is It Liquid Detergent or Is It Bodily Fluids?” The other low-income people there think I’m crazy. Am I? Or should I start wearing rubber gloves?

– Against the Tide

Dear Sticky Substance,

I’ve used plenty of laundromats in my day. And you are not crazy for questioning the origin of the substances atop the washing machines. But you are crazy for going all bubble-boy about it. Trust me, the place is sterile. Based on my own public laundering experiences, the most prevalent fluid sloshed about is bleach, which my favorite t-shirt inevitably soaks up. (Bonus tip: I think they make detergent explicitly for sensitive skin. I hope you’re using it.)

– Rinse and repeat, Rachel