Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

I’m getting tired of double speak in the work-place. Things like “sick days.” If I want to use a sick day for my mental health – a needed day in the wilderness, say, or recovery after four too many World Series beers – I have to pretend I’m actually ill with some non-specific ailment that doesn’t require medical attention. I’d rather just be honest with my boss, but that is the road to unemployment. How can I use my sick days well, without feeling like I’m cheating on my job?

– Sick Moves

Dear Cough Cough,

Oh, this is too easy, drill sergeant. You can always come down with a fever. Nonspecificity is your friend. Just don’t say what kind of fever. Could be baseball fever, ski fever, dog fever, hiking fever. And you’re not cheating if you’re not lying. A simple “Hey boss, I have a fever, won’t be in today, lol have a good one :)” ought to do the trick. Just be sure to wipe the telltale grin off your face before you go back to work.

– Give me fever, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

When a group of people carpool on a road trip, how should they divvy up the fuel? We’re taking my friend’s car, and she says she shouldn’t pay for gas because we’re putting wear on her vehicle. I say, we’re not wearing anything out to the tune of $40 a tank, so she needs to pony up. How can we settle this kerfuffle before we move on to arguing about music choices and bathroom breaks?

– Oil Crisis

Dear Gassy,

Turn your road trip into a bicycle tour. Problem solved! Or, not. There’s no good way to talk about money with friends, which is why you’re best off being passive aggressive. Simply give your friend the opportunity to pay for gas at each stop. When she doesn’t, load up on convenience store burritos and make her pay ’til the next rest stop.

– Bon voyage, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I’m not questioning anyone’s spiritual beliefs, but I have to draw the line when things get too woo-woo. I’ve got a coworker who talks about rocks like they’re some combination of living beings and mystical energy sources. He yammers daily about their emotions, their flow, things needing “cleared,” and all kinds of crap that just sounds made up. What on earth is behind this compulsion, and how can I tune it out?

– Hitting Rock Bottom

Dear Stone Cold,

Just because you can’t understand your coworker doesn’t mean he’s nuttier than a monkey in an almond factory. I’ll vouch for the rocks: they do have energetics, even if you can’t feel them. But on the flip side, your coworker sounds like that guy on the bus who won’t stop talking about the same shit over and over and over and over. My take? He’s an excellent reason for you to burn a sick day.

– Rock on, Rachel 

Top Shelf

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
By Chris Aaland
02/11/2021

Philadelphia freedom, Brothers Gibb & pirates on the mic

Rock in peace
Rock in peace
By Chris Aaland
01/07/2021

Mourning 2020’s lost musical voices and childhood missed chances 
 

Quaran-tunes
Quaran-tunes
By Chris Aaland
12/17/2020

What to listen to while waiting out a pandemic
 

Stay calm and folk on
Stay calm and folk on
By Chris Aaland
09/03/2020

KSUT streams virtual Four Corners Folk Festival this Friday
 

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Cold comfort
Cold comfort
12/17/2020

Seeking solstice solace in the dog days of winter

A Grand escape
A Grand escape
By Stephen Eginoire
11/19/2020

Pandemic fatigue? Forget the world with three weeks on the Colorado

The living museum
The living museum
By Stephen Eginoire
10/15/2020
A day at the beach
A day at the beach
By Stephen Eginoire
06/18/2020

What does one do when their favorite summer swimming hole is teeming with reptilian and amphibian aquatic life?

Read All in Day on the Life