Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

I never get a flu shot. I’m not some anti-vacer, and I’m current on all my other shots. But I’ve just heard from actual medical professionals that getting a flu shot is hit or miss. So I never do it. But now it seems like everyone is getting reamed by the bug this year, and I’m starting to look over my shoulder everywhere I go. I’m even wiping down grocery carts with sanitation wipes. Should I get a shot this year so I don’t get laid up for Snowdown?

– Bugging Out

Dear Advanced Planner,

What medical professionals told you this? As a completely unlicensed medical unprofessional myself, I can tell you that the flu shot has 100% effectiveness, every time it works. But it doesn’t matter what you believe – that shots give you autism, that the flu is a government-issued virus used to control the masses, or that the vaccine may actually reduce your chances of contracting the flu – you are way too late to save yourself for Snowdown.

– Going viral, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I have this friend who is an inveterate gift-giver. Nothing is off limits. It’s to the point where I can’t compliment anything in her home, or else I risk going home with a set of wine glasses or a full-sized framed painting. The thing is, she’s so damned sweet about it all that I can’t ever just put my foot down and say no. But then I end up redecorating my home to keep it all long enough to not feel guilty for donating it. How can I stop this madness?

– Killed with Kindness

Dear Recipient,

Sounds to me like you have one simple option: new friends. You need yourself some real jacktards in your life. The kind of people who never offer you generosity or kindness from their hearts; who raid your pantry and pillage your garage; who don’t care about your happiness or well-being. That new lifestyle would solve your problem like *that*!

– Grin and bear it, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

Everyone’s always concerned about those people whose parents got divorced when they were kids. But what about those of us whose parents are still together? We’re the ones who have it rough! Just like they have a favorite kid, I also have a favorite parent. I want to see my dad without my mom being around ... or guilting us for missing out ... or even hearing about it in the first place. How can I mom-block my relationship with my dad?

- Parent Trapped

Dear Mommy Issues,

It’s called putting on your big-person panties. You speak your needs clearly and directly. (You can practice this with a pillow, or in the mirror; in that way, it’s a lot like making out.) Then try speaking to your mother that way to express yourself. And then, when that fails, just give your dad the flu shot, and your mom a placebo.

– Stuck in the middle with you, Rach

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