Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

It drives me nuts when I visit a brewery and I receive a bad beer pour. Three out of the six breweries in Durango do it right, but the other three...I mean come on, when paying $5 or more for a beer directly from the source you’d think the brewery wouldn’t short pour their customers. And the staff, who are so evangelistic about craft beer, you would think would go above and beyond to pour a great beer. I’ve been hesitant to push back and return my beer for a proper pour, so I’d appreciate your thoughts on the short pours from breweries and how best to respond if it occurs.

– No More Bad Pours

Dear Pour Baby,

You can’t argue numbers. I suggest you bring a scientifically calibrated pint to every bar, pub, tavern, saloon and house of ill repute that you visit. When your wench delivers your brew, pour it into your standardized tankard and demonstrate just how much you’ve been shorted. Then be prepared for absolutely nothing to happen, as the U.S. is the rare country (unlike the UK, Ireland, Australia and Israel) where pints aren’t legally enforced by governmental standards. Maybe you should start drinking only during happy hour.

– Cheers, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

This happens to me every few years. I have a clean email address, where my only emails are from people I know. Then I get used to logging in, so I start using it for doctor’s appointments and meaningful newsletters. Before I know it, my inbox gets slammed with catalogues and notifications. We’re not even talking million-dollar offers from Nigerian princes. I’m aware this is all my own fault, but how can I keep my next email clear of junk?

– Overstuffed

Dear You’ve Got Mail,

Look at the top of your email screen. You might see a box that, when checked, selects all messages. Click it, then hit the trash can. Do this every time you log in. It’s like the Swedish Death Clean, only it doesn’t actually clear space in your home, and you might miss out on your next Bed Bath and Beyond coupon. We all make sacrifices.

– Live dangerously, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I have never felt this out of shape in all the years I’ve lived here. I haven’t been on my bike in a month, and I haven’t been on a proper hike since last fall. First it was the smoke, then it was the trail closures, and now I just can’t get myself out the front door. Is this how normal Americans live? Help!

– Couch Potatoed

Dear Slug,

Every season in Durango is training season for something. Feeling laid up by the fire, the fire’s effects and the risk of future fire? Time to start drinking, my friend! I mean training. Training for some future drinking event of your choosing. And don’t worry about getting plump. I hear there’s 10 percent fewer calories in a 14-ounce draw.

– Big bottoms up, Rachel

Top Shelf

Partying in the Park, Wailin' Jennys and Grant Farm
Partying in the Park, Wailin' Jennys and Grant Farm
By Chris Aaland
07/19/2018

KSUT’s 15th annual Party in the Park opens the gates at Buckley Park at 5 p.m. 

Nightowls, Ride Festival and Fab Fridays
Nightowls, Ride Festival and Fab Fridays
By Chris Aaland
07/12/2018

The dog days of summer bring a laid-back sweetness to the area this week, with classical music, ukuleles and singer/songwriters taking center stage.

The Hunts, MarchFourth and Afrosonics
The Hunts, MarchFourth and Afrosonics
By Chris Aaland
07/05/2018

To say business is hurting in Durango right now is an understatement.

Fourth festivities, astroturf and last call at SW Sound
Fourth festivities, astroturf and last call at SW Sound
By Chris Aaland
06/28/2018

In a normal year, the Fourth of July is the day when everyone roasts weenies, waves sparklers, gets shitfaced on Budweiser and watches fireworks with their cross-eyed beer goggles on.

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Just another roadside attraction
Just another roadside attraction
By Stephen Eginoire
07/19/2018

There is no shortage of charming roadside attractions that grace the scenic highways and byways surrounding this fair town of ours.

When the smoke clears
When the smoke clears
By Stephen Eginoire
07/12/2018

Doesn’t anybody work in this town?

Four years in the life
Four years in the life
By Jennaye Derge
07/06/2018

Alas, it is time to say goodbye. It’s been a great four years here at the Telegraph. Here’s a look back at some smiles, some tears and a lot of shenanigans. Thanks Durango, it’s been fun.

Back on track
Back on track
By Jennaye Derge
06/28/2018

We’ve all been feeling a little suffocated lately with smoke forcing us inside, windows closed, into a hermitlike existence.

Read All in Day on the Life