Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel,

It drives me nuts when I visit a brewery and I receive a bad beer pour. Three out of the six breweries in Durango do it right, but the other three...I mean come on, when paying $5 or more for a beer directly from the source you’d think the brewery wouldn’t short pour their customers. And the staff, who are so evangelistic about craft beer, you would think would go above and beyond to pour a great beer. I’ve been hesitant to push back and return my beer for a proper pour, so I’d appreciate your thoughts on the short pours from breweries and how best to respond if it occurs.

– No More Bad Pours

Dear Pour Baby,

You can’t argue numbers. I suggest you bring a scientifically calibrated pint to every bar, pub, tavern, saloon and house of ill repute that you visit. When your wench delivers your brew, pour it into your standardized tankard and demonstrate just how much you’ve been shorted. Then be prepared for absolutely nothing to happen, as the U.S. is the rare country (unlike the UK, Ireland, Australia and Israel) where pints aren’t legally enforced by governmental standards. Maybe you should start drinking only during happy hour.

– Cheers, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

This happens to me every few years. I have a clean email address, where my only emails are from people I know. Then I get used to logging in, so I start using it for doctor’s appointments and meaningful newsletters. Before I know it, my inbox gets slammed with catalogues and notifications. We’re not even talking million-dollar offers from Nigerian princes. I’m aware this is all my own fault, but how can I keep my next email clear of junk?

– Overstuffed

Dear You’ve Got Mail,

Look at the top of your email screen. You might see a box that, when checked, selects all messages. Click it, then hit the trash can. Do this every time you log in. It’s like the Swedish Death Clean, only it doesn’t actually clear space in your home, and you might miss out on your next Bed Bath and Beyond coupon. We all make sacrifices.

– Live dangerously, Rachel

 

Dear Rachel,

I have never felt this out of shape in all the years I’ve lived here. I haven’t been on my bike in a month, and I haven’t been on a proper hike since last fall. First it was the smoke, then it was the trail closures, and now I just can’t get myself out the front door. Is this how normal Americans live? Help!

– Couch Potatoed

Dear Slug,

Every season in Durango is training season for something. Feeling laid up by the fire, the fire’s effects and the risk of future fire? Time to start drinking, my friend! I mean training. Training for some future drinking event of your choosing. And don’t worry about getting plump. I hear there’s 10 percent fewer calories in a 14-ounce draw.

– Big bottoms up, Rachel

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