Ask Rachel

Dear Rachel,

When is it OK to take down the “thank you firefighters” signs? I don’t want to seem ungrateful or anything. They did an amazing job protecting our homes and controlling a horrible situation. But now the fire’s 100 percent contained, and the signs are starting to look a little weather-worn and obligatory. What are your thoughts?

– Moving On

Dear Cold, Cold Ashes,

If you put up any thank-you-firefighters signs, you can take them down whenever you please. But you know, the 416 is still burning. There are other fires too. So I guess as long as people want to show their gratitude, you’re going to have to deal with the apparent eyesores. But I’d say, let’s take them all down by Christmas, alright?

– No, thank you, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

One of my dear friends has this really annoying habit. She’ll respond to almost every text I send (that’s not the annoying part), but she re-

sponds to only about 25 percent of what I say. Not everything I share warrants a response, sure. But I can ask meaningful things, like “What time would you like me to come over?” and she’ll answer with something like, “So glad you’re coming!” Do you have any strategies for making sure all my important words get read and answered?

- Getting Skimmed

Dear Speed Read,

Does the same thing happen if you send only 25 percent of the information? You could be overloading her with too many things to respond to – never mind, screw it. I hate when this happens to me too. Read the damned texts, people. Read the whole thing. And then scroll back up to read them again and see if you missed anything. It’s like eye contact for texting. Do it.

– My eyes are up here, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I adopted a poinsettia after Christmas out of pity. I figured, these things infamously die by January anyway. I might as well give it a nicer home than the dumpster out back. But here we are, August, and it’s still alive. Maybe I’m inadvertently giving it what it needs, if just barely. But now we have a bond, and I’m starting to feel like I should look into how to care for it properly. Is that even feasible in Durango? Or should I just “forget” to water it for a while and wash my hands of the whole business?

– Holiday Blues

Dear Sucker,

Your first mistake was your compassion. Your second mistake was your reliability. Your third mistake was not getting out while you still had a chance. Now you’ve bonded with the thing, and worse, it’s bonded with you. I clearly don’t know much about poinsettias, but it’s all true for cats, so why not flowers too? You’re stuck with it. Unless you give it as a thank-you gift to some fire-fighters.

– Feed me, Seymour, Rachel