Chex-complex, otter therapy & Hanukkah Hollywood

Dear Rachel,

I overcame the supply chain issues this year by buying up all the Chex cereal that I could find, just in case no more came in. Now I am set for making Chex Mix for the winter. But it’s possible I bought more than usual, so now I can get creative with some of it. What suggestions do you have for innovative Chex mix flavors, additions, editions, versions, that I can either share with friends and family or hoard for myself?

– Chex This Out

Dear Chexmate,

I’m all for experimentation. I mean, come on, you don’t think I spent all that dorm time back in college studying, do you? But some things are not meant to be tampered with. Green chile cheeseburgers. “Hotel California.” Ski bindings. Chex Mix. Leave well enough alone, will ya? But if you must tinker, perhaps I might suggest playing with which pretzel shape absorbs the most seasoning. Or do a blind taste test at your holiday party to determine which brand of peanuts is most crowd-pleasing.

– Wild times, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Do you know anything about octopuses? I’ve started watching videos of these cephalopods, and I can’t stop, and now they are crawling their way into my dreams. I’m not surprised. They can open doors, remove lids from their tanks, climb into other aquariums and reportedly even climb trees. Unlocking the hatch to my subconscious should be easy. But now I’m starting to develop an unhealthy fear. Like they could be around any corner, even in little landlocked Durango? How can I escape these inescapable creatures?

– Night Terrors

Dear Octo-Wuss,

You know what I’ve started watching? Videos of otters. They look perpetually pleased. And they hold hands. While they float! My quality of life has improved tenfold since I started watching otter videos instead of making obligatory phone calls to my parents, or doing laundry, or anything generally less pleasant than otters. So that’s my solution for you.

– I otter know, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

You talked about Hallmark Christmas movies last week. Which got me wondering, are there Hallmark Hanukkah movies? Turns out there are. Just a few. And they’re usually Christmas movies with a couple Jewish people in them. Which sounds about right for the real world experiences of my Jewish friends. I obviously have no idea what you celebrate, but hey, what if we made Durango the Hanukkah movie-filming capital of the world? Let’s start a movement!

– Bag the Bags

Dear Bag Lady,

Yeah, isn’t Hanukkah basically the Eight Days of Pre-Christmas? Not in a religious sense, but in a cultural one? A whole lot of non-Jewish people would throw a sheet-feet if Hanukkah forced itself on them the way Christmas forces itself on everyone else. Which means: I’m all for filming some epic Hanukkah movies here. We could deck the train out with… okay, I don’t know anything non-stereotypical to suggest here. But so long as we can still eat Chex Mix, I’m game for anything.

– A candle for every octopus arm, Rachel