Cold comfort, car nanny, and shut up and hike

Dear Rachel,

I’m reading this spy novel written before the end of the Cold War and the updated foreword talks about the end of the Cold War. Isn’t the whole point of a Cold War that it was never officially declared in the first place? Did it really end? Isn’t Russia still spreading disinformation and using bots to influence our election and media? Aren’t we likely doing the same to them?

– Not Out of the Cold

Dear Comrade,

We do not question whether the Cold War came to an end. All things are sunny and bright for the great United States of America, where we are fed on great American wheat and milk, none of which is ever imported from inferior lands. What could be greater than our prosperity? What could we have to fear from Russia, as long we go along with its designs for our future?

– The cold shoulder, Rachel 

Dear Rachel,

My dad is a horrible driver who makes me carsick. He got this tracking app from his insurance company that monitors his driving in exchange for possibly better rates. He now drives like an angel with smooth accelerations, reasonable braking distance, turn signals, the works. I’m usually anti-anything that reeks of tech bros, but this seems like a positive development. Is this tech surveillance good, or am I just a bystanding victim of Siri and Alexa and all the rest?

– Along for the Ride

Dear Little Brother,

I also don’t want too much tracking of my personal habits, but I do kind of like how Amazon has customized my algorithm. Life really has gotten better for me, or at least easier, which feels like the same thing. Besides, maybe now your dad won’t kill you! Give me privacy or give me death! Unless you want to give me neither along with a discount.

– Like a good neighbor, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I am all for being friendly to other people. To a freaking point. Sometimes I go for hikes on our more popular trails, and there are just so many people. Not as bad as going to Sedona where the hikes are basically like lines at Disneyland. But every person I pass insists on saying hi, and I’m fine for the first few, but after the 20th “hi” I just want to enjoy my hike in peace. My wife thinks I’m grumpy, I think I’ve just had enough. What do you think?

– Silent Type

Dear Friendly Sort,

This is the real Cold War: the forced friendliness we exude on the trails. Not even joking. I don’t want one more line about how it “doesn’t get better than this” or the “views don’t suck.” Even worse are the jokes about how far we have left to go. Just let me get some peace and quiet away from it all, in a designated space for other people to also get away from it all.

– [silent nod of acknowledgment], Rachel