Creepy veep, wrung out and exercising restraint

Creepy veep, wrung out and exercising restraint

Dear Rachel,

Are we seriously going to keep talking about how avocado toast is keeping millennials from accomplishing anything? We’re all 40 or damn close. If I stashed $10 every day for the last 20 years, instead of eating some mythical avocado toast, I still wouldn’t have my student loans paid off let alone a 401k or a Durango mortgage. What are we gonna say to blame Gen Z and Gen Alpha for being blocked out of a good life?

– Gen Broke

Dear Avocadon’t,

I don’t know that WE are still talking about that. I wonder if some vice presidential candidate said something else stupid that you’re referencing. I would believe that. Because it’s already apparent a certain candidate has an issue with eggs, as evidenced by how forcibly his children worry about them. Maybe, instead of blaming an entire older generation, the younger gens will just blame that veep candidate for everything screwy.

– Getting toasty, Rachel


Dear Rachel,

I didn’t listen to my parents when I bought my house. They told me to buy the most basic washer & dryer. So naturally, I went with a fancier set (on sale, though!) While they’re holding up fine, they don’t actually do a good job. Like sheets get bunched up in the fitted sheet and the washer can’t even spin without an error code. Do I sell and get another, even though it means admitting I was wrong?

– Soggy and Sorry

Dear Little Brother,

You’re clearly no doormat, standing up to your parentals like that. (Nor are you a laundromat, but that’s besides the point.) I think you can stay proud of your ability to rebel against wisdom well into adulthood. But it’s time to suck it up, sell your machines for much, much less than you paid, and cash those couple 20s into quarters for the actual laundromat.

– Quick wash, Rachel


Dear Rachel,

Ughhh I’m having a hard time staying motivated to exercise. I know it’s good for me, but it’s no fun. I need some other reason to do it because being in good shape, and living longer are not motivating enough.

– Not Working Out

Dear Pumped Down,

If staying alive and well isn’t motivation enough, I recommend something much more trivial. Think of something ridiculous you’d like to accomplish. Like, I dunno, giving your bestie a piggyback ride up to Perin’s Peak or selling sexy photos of yourself to pay for your avocado toast habit. As soon as you commit to doing the thing out loud, to other people, you’ll have no choice but to follow through.

– Getting jacked, Rachel 

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