Disappearing act, staying puft and going big

Dear Rachel,

I need a younger person’s advice. Some of these messaging apps have features for disappearing messages. Your conversation will disappear immediately, or in 24 hours or 7 days or whatever. I know this must be normal. But it feels rude when my friends turn it on. It feels like they don’t value our conversations. Is this the case, do you think?

– Into the Mist

Dear Foggy Past,

Nah, don’t think so much into it. This is totally, absolutely, a phone storage issue. Disappearing old messages, especially photos and other junk, means you save a boatload of time down the line when you either have to spend hours deleting old stuff or just forget it all and buy a new phone. It also covers your tracks for all your illicit affairs. Not saying that’s you! But it is a nice bonus feature.

– Ethereally, Rachel 

Dear Rachel,

It’s time for my annual self-esteem freakout. All winter long, I hide my body issues under down jackets. Now, all my friends are basically Iron Horse-ready and have their river bods full steam ahead. Meanwhile, I have much more of a craft brew bod going. Yeah, I can make it to the top of a mountain, but I ain’t posting pictures. I’ve accepted that I’m never going to be in that kind of shape, so how can I embrace being the Stay-Puft member of my friend group?

– Marshmallow Man

Dear S’more Filling,

I remember having my first physical freakout years ago. My coach told me that no one, no one at all, is paying as much attention to me as I am. I think she was trying to be helpful. Instead, she confirmed all my worst fears about not mattering. But now I get to say the same thing to you! You care more about your physique than any of your compadres. If they are hanging out with you, as adults, they like you. Embrace that.

– Thanks, coach, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

The saying is “go big or go home.” Why not go big AND go home? Meaning: I’m about to do something really audacious in my career. The equivalent of writing the Denver Nuggets and asking them about joining their coaching staff. It’s almost certainly going to fail. I will have to return home with tail tucked in defeat. But at least I can still go home. Can you imagine failing so big that you CANNOT GO HOME?

– Notable Quotable

Dear Easily Repeatable,

You might go home with your tail tucked, but you can still hold your head high. Because you tried. Most of us talk a big game and never do the thing. You’re doing the thing. Good on you! If I might make one small unsolicited suggestion? Go big after you set your messages to disappear. No sense in preserving the evidence of your inevitable failure.

– Realistically, Rachel