Don't nog it till you try it, rain checks and all a-bored
Dear Rachel,
What the heck is a nog, anyway? We have egg nog but no other kind of nog. Which makes me wonder why we have to qualify egg nog with the egg. We say “pumpkin beer” because we have other beers without pumpkin. So help us out. What other kinds of nog should we have been drinking all this time?
– Egghead
Dear Egg Noggin,
We live in an enterprising age. I think it’s high time someone comes up with all the other kinds of nog and takes them for a spin. I mean, cannabis nog, obvi. An IPA nog. But then let’s branch beyond the standards. Savory nogs: sausage nog, broccoli nog, turkey nog. And the sweet! Chocolate nog, strawberry nog, crème brulee nog. Whatever doesn’t work, just put an -o at the end: nogo.
– Nog in agreement, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
Why do people think they can take a rain check when I offer things to them? This just happened when I invited a friend to stay for dinner. “No, but I’ll take a rain check,” she said. B, this isn’t a standing offer. You were already here, I have food that needs cooked, you think you can just call me up sometime and cash in the offer whenever you please?
– Rain Check Yourself
Dear Developmentally Rain Delayed,
Oh come on. This is just a nice way of saying no. No one in history has called up and said, “I’ll take you up on that rain check now.” The only time this happens is when an actual ticket person hands you an actual rain check, like at the circus or a baseball game. Or if you’re that person who holds up the grocery line to get a rain check for pinto beans at 25 cents off.
– It’s pouring, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
Never mind we have the Polar Express in our back yard. My family decided to drive to Chama to ride a different train that’s the exact same but without the licensing. It was sweet but ultimately unexciting. The kids met Santa and seemed happy. But I just wanted to be on my phone (except reception was crap). Have I lost my childlike wonder? Or have we just over-romanticized something really boring?
– Not On Board
Dear Big Engine That Couldn’t,
You completely lost your childlike wonder. What happened to being thrilled at trains, road trips and anything out of the ordinary? What happened to Santa being the most magical sight? Remember when you were young and didn’t question things like shouldn’t we have better things to do right now and what is a nog anyway? You just accepted the magic of the world for what it is. May we all reclaim some of that this season.
– Pure cheer, Rachel
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