Drawing the line, meter men & customer disservice

Dear Rachel,

When you stay at hotels and use bar soap, you use a small bar they give you. When you leave you may leave it, but whatever happens to them? Do they go to the poor or recycled? You might know the answer. I think most people take the other items, but do they take the half used bar of soap or should they leave it? Would like your thoughts on this. Do I take it? You will never know.

– Mr. Mizer

Dear Soapbox,

YOU may use the hotel soap, but I do not. And I am a thorough cheapskate. But I draw the line at the things that touch my skin. Maybe upscale hotels where people with first names like Mr. can stay the night and use shea butter in their soaps, but I’m pretty sure my go-to motels use straight, unprocessed lye. And, of course, I bring it home with me. I paid for that crap.

– Scrub a dub, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I want to thank all the people who pay at the parking meters in the city. What I don’t like is when people call me a meter maid. I’m a male and am called a parking enforcement officer. I know they get mad at me, but just doing my job. I’m a man and not a maid. Calling my other female workers maids is not right. As James Brown said, “It’s a man’s world but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl.” How true. We are all nice officers. We can give or not give, but we love our walks and talks. What do you think, maid or no maid?

– Peter van Meter

Dear Maid of Honor,

You’re welcome, even though I only ever paid at a meter once. Since then, I park only at broken meters or else in front of someone’s DO NOT PARK HERE sign on Third Ave. I then put my own yellow boot on my car, so any boot maid that comes by will think I’ve already been booted. Maybe if your employer worked on some real public transit, parking wouldn’t be an issue and we could reassign you to some less gendered work, like a call girl. 

– Maid in the shade, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I have had it with follow-up surveys for every single thing I do. I just got my oil changed at a quickie-stop joint, and I wasn’t even home before I had a text message asking me to evaluate my experience. You have to give these people your contact info to complete whatever service you’re asking for, but you’re also signing up for the inevitable queries, and most don’t even offer A CHANCE AT A $20 GIFT CARD!!!! anymore. How can we rebel against this invasion?

– Unsatisfied

Dear Valued Customer,

We are sorry you had a less than perfect experience with your most recent survey. Would you be willing to complete the attached survey to share your experience in greater detail? All completed surveys will be entered into a drawing for a shoebox full of unused hotel soap dating back to 1997 or something. 

– Customer servicely, Rachel