Frank Lockwood

Frank Lockwood

This week, advise you, Frank will.

Diver: Frank Lockwood
Interesting Fact: Frank once made wine while living near the town where Romeo and Juliet met their maker.
 

Dear Diver,
I have a sweet powder blue leisure suit I scored a while ago that I reserve for special occasions. Well, my girlfriend hates when I wear it, and incidentally, it has recently gone “missing.” She claims she has no idea what happened to it, but I think she’s lying. Please Diver, help me find powder blue – I’ve got a class reunion in August.
– Mr. Furley

Dear Mr. F,
Those power blue leisure suits are truly sweet! Would one consider buying any other color? Your concerns touch on the deepest challenges of the human condition: attachment, doubt and true love. Unfortunately, these conditions often conflict. I typically choose true love, but not everyone does. If you do, forget the suit and do something to show your girlfriend how much you love her. The suit will either re-appear magically or your attachment to it will fade. If you choose attachment, dump your girlfriend and buy a replacement on eBay for $29.
– Best of luck

 

Dear Diver,
I am trying to decide about colleges and my dad keeps pushing his alma mater, CU Boulder, saying it’s the “Harvard of the Rockies.” I’ve never heard that before, but I’ve heard a lot of other, “extracurricular” things about that school. Is CU really the Harvard of the Rockies? And if not, then what school is?
– Junior

Dear Junior,
A quick Google search for “Harvard of the Rockies” yields … wait for it … Nothing! (A search of “couch fires” yields much more about CU.) With all due respect, this humongous hyperbole is a little over-the-top. (Am I being redundant?) You need to search out factors most relevant to your future. Things like cost, programs, school and class size, and location. College is not for everyone, but it works much better if it’s a good fit. Tell your dad thanks for his input and make a decision based upon more relevant criteria. He might even respect you for it.
– Diver

 

Dear Diver,
I won two free tickets to the Ride Festival but cannot convince my husband to go see Pearl Jam with me. He keeps going off on rants about Nirvana and Mud Honey being the original grunge bands, which is strange because he hates Dave Grohl. How do I convince him this will be the concert of a lifetime and he’ll kick himself for missing it in his later years?
– Can’t Find a Better Man

Dear BM,
Ah marriage! A sacred sacrament! (“Princess Bride,” 1987, a must see, at least 10X in order to discover there is no deeper meaning, just lots of good one-liners.) So much energy is wasted in trying to remake our spouses. Many married folks believe that a happy couple must do everything together. Au contraire! Developing outside interests and friends actually strengthens your marriage. Your husband is also a big boy and has free choice (at least when you let him). Find a girlfriend and have a ball! And be careful when you come home all gaga about the concert. Don’t you become the cause of regretting his decision.
– Diver


Top Shelf

Long live rock!
Long live rock!
By Chris Aaland
05/21/2020

It’s been nearly two months since “Top Shelf” last graced these pages. In my first 12-plus years of writing this column, I think I only missed two weeks.

Raised on radio
Raised on radio
By Chris Aaland
03/26/2020

Social distancing is driving many of us stir crazy, especially after last week’s big dump. Not only do we crave physical interaction with each other, but we’re also an active community.

The week the music died
The week the music died
By Chris Aaland
03/19/2020

For more than 12 years, I’ve written “Top Shelf” on a weekly basis as a column about the local music scene and nightlife. I also drift into sports, pop culture and political territory from time to time. And, on far too many occasions, I’ve paid homage to a family member or friend who has passed, like my son, brother, mother and festival friend. 

Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
Bogguss' aces, Irish eyes and Salmon splash
By Chris Aaland
03/12/2020

Perhaps the biggest and baddest Durango Celtic Festival to date runs tonight (Thurs., March 12) through Sunday, with events alternating between the Henry Strater Theatre and the Irish Embassy Pub. This year’s line up is one of the best in the festival’s history, with five internationally acclaimed artists. 

Read All in Top Shelf

Day in the Life

Soaking it up
Soaking it up
05/21/2020
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
Local color: Telegraph coloring page winners
04/30/2020

A look at some (OK, all) of the Telegraph's coloring page submissions

Sole man
Sole man
03/12/2020

At the age of 19, Durango’s Mervin “Merv” Stilson started making shoes and never looked back (except for the time he made a Western-style jacket for Neil Young).

Wonder wall
Wonder wall
By Stephen Eginoire
03/05/2020

Southeastern Utah has no shortage of natural wonders, and perhaps one of the most curious is the 80-mile-long sandstone monocline known as Comb Ridge. 

Read All in Day on the Life