Frank Lockwood

Frank Lockwood

Heed Frank's advice you must.

Dear Diver,

Ever since the Olympics started, all my friends who don’t have TV (and in Durango there are many) are coming over at all hours of the day and night to watch on mine. They’re also eating and drinking me out of house and home in the process. Well, as we all know satellite isn’t cheap. Would it be tacky to start charging an entrance fee, or would a tip jar be more subtle?

– Mike TV

Dear MTV,

There is nothing subtle about a tip jar.  And there is nothing more refreshing than direct communication, especially to your “friends.”  Something like, “Hey dudes this thing costs me a hundred bucks a month for the privilege of you guys coming over here and watching stuff. The least you can do is cover your own drinks and food, and bring some for me!” That should do it. Those who are offended may stop coming. They are not your friends. They are moochers.

– Diver Frank  (P.S. What kind of beer should I bring?)

 

Dear Diver,

So, as a prospective employer I find it tacky when job applicants use the standard Word template for a resume. I mean, if they’re too lazy to design their own resume, what does that say about their work ethic? My business partner thinks I’m being too harsh and my expectations are too high. What does the diver think?

– Boss Lady

Dear Boss(y) Lady,

Diver thinks you are both missing the point. The issue is neither word processing nor high or low expectations. The issue is finding talent. If someone communicated a talent or skill that I was looking for by using a crayon on a wrinkled paper bag, I would put that “resume” in the “Schedule an Interview” pile. You must come to terms with the fact that millennials (for example) have different approaches to work than us bosses. They also have great creativity and a phenomenal work ethic when motivated. Your job is to seek out those geniuses, refine the important parts of their job performance (like wearing a clean shirt to work at least twice a week), and keep them motivated.

– Diver Frank

 

Dear Diver,

So yeah, I got married to a guy on a river trip who lives in another town. And guess what? The sky didn’t fall and we are very happy in our current arrangement. How do I get my friends to understand and get over it and quit writing letters to bad advice columns in the local rag? I am truly embarrassed for them!

– The Newlywed 

Dear Barelywed,

Sounds like the perfect arrangement to me! BF Skinner had the same idea about 70 years ago. By now you must have discovered that you only get to see each other when you BOTH want it enough to make arrangements and plan something nice. As to your friends, what can I say? Trying to get your friends to do or stop doing anything is usually a futile exercise. Why not just stop caring what your friends think? (If that fails, just show them this answer.)

– Diver Frank

 

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