Getting high, X-hausted and high-end Hespie

Dear Rachel,

My good friends and I have been trying to answer this question for too long. Can you help? Durango is at 6,512 ft. altitude according to all sources. We’ve wandered, had some pints, wandered some more and we discovered some great people and even better brews, but alas, never discovered the mysterious 6512. There was some google searching involved, but we’ve got little patience for staring at screens after work. Thanks!

– Treasure Seekers

Dear Pirate Mappers,

What is elevation, anyway? I mean, the sea level constantly changes. And yeah, who decides that some specific point of town is the elevation? Is it the low point? The acme? Some 19th-century best guess? My suspicion is that elevation is a state of mind, and a state of heart. So what if I’m stumping for the next Durango tourism rebrand – we should all carry 6512 within us wherever we go.

– Better reset my combo lock, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Can’t we just put Elon Musk in space already? This whole X rebranding thing should not even be taking up room in my brain, yet here I am, wishing he would disappear. I hate that one man’s obsession with a single letter in the alphabet is the top story in my news feed. I don’t wish death on anyone, but I do picture two little Xs where his eyes used to be. Please, give me something else to occupy my brain!

– Exed Out

Dear Professor X,

I can’t help you there, but if Tesla bros are going to jump aboard this X-train like they do every other little thing that Elon choo-choos, I think you now have full permission to take the key from your very analog, gas-guzzling ’93 Subaru and decorate Tesla cars with an X on each exterior panel. I’m not condoning this, nor saying you should. I simply say I think everyone involved would be happier.

– xoxox, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

With all the cons on the RV Park at Dalton and the gravel pit, how about starting a new BOOM town in Hesperus? Yeah no solar farm but a high-end RV park. They already have a high-end restaurant, ski area, post office, Jeep rental, gas station and great access. Boom town to the west of Durango, and the housing is cheaper. And fresh air for the folks. Your thoughts on this? Heck they might even get Denver news channels on the RV TVs and read the Telegraph in print when waiting for their EV to charge at an EV charging station.

– Dusty Rohdes

Dear Off-Rohdes,

Have I got the RV park name for you: 6512+. You’ll never know the true elevation, but you’ll know it’s higher than Durango. Plus (see what I did there?) it’s right in line with all the other plus-offerings out there: Disney+, Paramount+, SpaceX (which is just a + that tipped over), the +++++ that some eBay reviewer left on my account back in 2009. So I like your idea, except for all the people, and all the RVs. But if they’ll read the Tele, we’ll let it slide.

– Developmentally, Rachel+