Getting scammed on, pillow talk and cat calls
Dear Rachel,
I’m pretty good at spotting scams. It’s common sense. Don’t give out your password, the IRS would never call you on the phone, etc. But I’ve been getting hounded by someone whose game I can’t figure out. Not sure if it’s a long play on a scam or if I’m one digit off from her jilted ex-lover, but I have received a dozen rambling voicemails with the urgency of a spam but none of the coherence. Should I answer and have some fun? Or just block and forget?
– Spammed-a-Lot
Dear Redial on Speed Dial,
Always block. Always, always, always, Unless, of course, you think you stand to make a great deal of money for a very small amount of effort. Those things are completely legit. However, what if this really is love gone sour? What if her ex is pining, waiting for the call that never comes – because it’s coming to you? What if … nahhh, just block and be done.
– Off the hook, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
We must have evolved for millions of years without the use of pillows. Yet now we can’t go to bed without one. No other creature uses one. Why do we have to use pillows now? Not asking just because I’m due to replace mine and don’t want to.
– Down with Down
Dear Head Rest,
No other animal uses shoes either, but here we are. Also, I beg to differ. I see dogs using pillows all the freaking time. Every chance they get. Clearly they love pillows. And since they’re our best friends, it stands to reason we would evolve side by side in many ways. Who cares why. All I know is a cool pillow is one of the few joys left in this world. Let me (and the dogs) have that.
– Dreamily, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
My neighbor’s cat has decided to make my home her second home. I’m cool with it. All the joys of having a cat, without the responsibilities. But now I’m getting attached. I get excited when the cat chooses to stay here. I’ve started shutting her in at night, and she curls up right at home. I’m not talking legally, but in the world of cat logic, when does her ownership get reassigned to me?
– Catherine the Greatest
Dear Cat Scratch Fever,
This is the problem with every casual relationship. One person (and I do mean person) starts to take it more seriously than the other. Of course the cat loves your house. She probably is coming there to piss off her real family. She gets showered in treats and affection without owing you a damn thing. This is perfect for the cat, imperfect for your broken heart. Before you know it, the cat’s family will start calling you at all hours of the night and leaving you incoherent voicemails. Rip off the band-aid. Put the cat out and never look back.
– Feeling Catty, Rachel
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