Going for the burn and Boebertgate

Dear Rachel,

It’s that time of year when I freak out about balancing my mental health need for the outdoors with the dread fear of getting skin cancer and wrinkles and that unfortunate skin resembling homemade beef jerky. Yeah yeah, sunscreen and hats. But I like getting sun on my face, and going into nature without looking like my dad, who is the REI equivalent of a pocket protector. How do you maintain your own balance between beauty & sanity?

– Estee Outdoors

Dear Uncover Girl,

Here’s how: I don’t. I am exactly the person who would run around naked at the river if it were permitted, and then the person who would cry for a week about the sunburn, and then the person who would anxiety themselves into wearing a hoodie through July, convinced it was already too late for me and I’d just doomed myself. And then the person who would be naked at the river again before Labor Day.

– You are my sunshine, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m surprised you haven’t said peep about Boebert and the Case of the public school visit. Figured someone would have asked you by now if you had thoughts, or whether she should have stayed away from the school, or if liberal snowflakes need to get over a sitting congressperson engaging students in civics. Dust has had time to settle, and I can’t wait anymore. Where do you stand?

– Staybert or Gobert

Dear Class Act,

First off, I find it admirable of you to use the word “person” in “congressperson.” That’s rather inclusive of you, considering how many people would refuse to call her a person at all. Second off, I remember seeing some big-shot TV actor coming to my elementary school. I didn’t know who he was, but he was a TV STAR. I’d have listened to anything he said for longer than some politician. So she can visit any school she pleases, so long as we get, like, Donald Glover to visit first.

– I pledge allegiance, Rachel