Hail or hate the Chief & popping the Netflix question

Dear Rachel,

I genuinely don’t know what to think about The Chief downtown. On the one hand, I’m not Native American, so I don’t really understand how it feels to have my people be caricatured (unless Barney Fife counts). On the other hand, I don’t see how it’s racist or insensitive, and it’s been there my whole life, and I like it. So can’t we all just get along and let it stay? Why do we have to be so PC about absolutely everything?

- Hail to the Chief

Dear Pasty,

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: substitute “treating people with respect” for “being PC” and play a game I like to call “Who sounds like an asshole now?” Try it with this sample rant: We have gotten way too focused on being PC! What happened to common sense? Who is being PC with my opinions as probably a white individual? My opinions still matter! And I can’t handle when you point out how they might be insensitive to others!

– Sit down, Rachel

Dear Diver,

Why do people (like, say, hypothetically, newspaper people) think they can just close up shop for a week to jump on the river? They’re messing with people’s lives here. People who rely on them every Thursday for a non-corporatized, human-level view of what’s happening in our town, plus When Animals Attack. And even worse, what if they get smart and never come back? We can’t have that! I protest.

- Gone Fishing

Dear Hooked,

If the Telegraphistas haven’t yet left to start up a new Dairy Queen in town, I can’t imagine what will stop them from coming back this time. But you are clearly a dedicated Telegraph devotee who has read every issue cover to cover for the last, oh, five years or so. So I don’t need to tell you that. I just need to ask, out of all the news in all the world, how this – a river trip – is what you picked up on.

– Dive this, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m thinking of asking my girlfriend to take the next big step with me. I want to ask her if she’ll share a Netflix account with me. It would be the first thing we really shared responsibility for, since we don’t live together yet. I just figure we’re both paying 15 bucks a month. We could split that and put the extra toward a really nice date night every eight or 10 months. Should I ask, or will I scare her off?

– Netflix and Split the Bill

Dear Don Juan,

A nice date night every eight or 10 months? Boy, you’re thinking pretty far in the future for someone afraid of his own month-to-month streaming service contract. Then again, with romance like that in your heart, how could she ever leave you? And if she did, every single one of us Durango ladies will be circling your block, hoping beyond hope to get a glimpse of your four-roommate living room couch for a Netflix sesh. Unless you think nothing is wrong with The Chief. Instant turn-off.

– Are you still watching, Rachel