Hangover helper, email ghosting & oiled up

Dear Rachel,

Love the young lady with the hangover from whiskey. Well I bet she had it with Coke or 7Up, not with water or on the rocks. I would suggest she starts out with good hooch and drinks slowly and gets the glow of good whiskey. To help, she might put a little shot in her coffee in the a.m. It’s called a Coffee Bracer. Small shot, relaxes and perks you up for the day ahead. She will get mellow and forget the night before and have a glow all day. NOT BEFORE WORK.

– Jack Danials

Dear Johnny Denials,

Once I convinced myself I wasn’t suffering from sudden-onset alcohol poisoning, I realized this letter was in reference to last week’s letter-writer asking why coffee is a standard hangover drink. No hint of gender, age or mixer of choice. Not sure why you had to go get all presumptuous and, frankly, creepy about this person “forgetting the night before” and “having a glow all day.” God, I hope that letter-writer was a burly daddy.

– Whiskey goggled, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m wondering if emails have a statute of limitations. Like, someone sends me a friendly note or a business request. I leave it marked unread in my inbox as a reminder to get to it. But then… I don’t. At some point, it feels worse to respond than to delete and ignore forever. What is that point?

– Signed, Sealed, Undelivered

Dear Spam Filter,

That is the limit: 30 days, or whenever your spam filter automatically deletes messages. Plausible deniability and all. If it ever comes up in the future, like at your Kennedy Center Honors event, you can say, “Oh, I never got that email. I bet it went into spam!” At least this is what I ought to start doing with letters I don’t wish to answer.

– Marked as phishy, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m all for food-as-medicine, in the sense that what we put in our bodies has an effect on our bodies. But I am ready to draw the line at all these essential oils. Or, rather, all the people obsessing over them. Oils for headaches! Oils for wealth! I for one am convinced 98% of any benefit is the almighty placebo effect – hey, maybe we just start replacing “snake” with “lavender” in the old oil-salesman label. Unless you can change my mind?

– Snake Eyes

Dear Greased Up,

I used to never buy olive oil, because it was so darn expensive. Then I had a frugality guru put it to me like this: calories per dollar, it’s a steal. Plus, it’s got loads of good things for you. So now olive oil is the base of my food pyramid. It relaxes me for the day ahead and perks me up for the day ahead and puts a glow on my face, at least when I drizzle it directly on my face. And a jug costs half as much as a vial of lavender oil. Screw that stuff.

– A side of focaccia, Rachel