Imperial f-up, no app-petite and going in reverse
Dear Rachel,
I just learned about the biggest eff-up of all time. Mars Climate Orbiter, burned to pieces, all because there were two organizations involved and one did measurements in imperial and the other in metric, and someone did not convert acceleration speeds from one to the other. First of all, this was 1999, and I was alive, so how did I not see this? Second of all, this needs to become a good shorthand reference for “oops I messed up real bad.” Any ideas how to phrase that?
– Whoopsie Daisy
Dear Booboo,
Quit trying to make “fetch” happen. It’s not going to happen. Also, pretty sure this is exactly what snafu means. You’re not going to get more efficient, or more catchy, than a five-letter acronym that just sounds like exactly what it means, while also incorporating that omnipresent “f.” On that note, the F-word is already all the versatility we need. It’s not going anywhere. Your effort is well guided, but you aren’t going to stick the landing.
– Eff this, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
I finally figured out what I don’t like about all these ways to communicate. I just feel backlogged with people! Some I don’t even care about that much. But I’ve got half a dozen unviewed Snapchats right now and a 20-minute voice note in WhatsApp, and that’s not even counting the email inbox. Am I wrong to just, I dunno, start ignoring people?
– At My App Cap
Dear Storage Full,
First of all, a 20-minute voice note from anyone except … no, from anyone at all is excessive and possibly a crime. That one’s not on you. As for the rest, I get it. I clear out my apps when I’m on the toilet at work. Sure beats staring at work-things. But my dirty little secret? Just turn off whatever app notifications you have for unread messages. Make those little numbers just disappear and watch the guilt evaporate.
– Do not disturb, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
I’m convinced the greatest human invention in the Bible is numbering chapter and verse. (You can’t tell me God came up with that. It’s got big cleric energy.) I think other media should start doing that. Like, what if we could refer to “Gilmore Girls” 5:2:7 (Season 5, Episode 2, Minute 7), or what if books numbered their sentences so you could refer to, like, “Hunger Games” 15:2 on a bumper sticker, and it’s all deep and meaningful but only to others in the know. Could this be a thing?
– Written in Stone
Dear Canonical Text,
I mean, if you made it a thing, you could really bust into the bumper sticker market and whatever market makes Bible verse accessories. But would you also put all the main character dialogue in red? Seems tricky to me. I just don’t see us ‘Murkans changing our ways. Especially when we can’t even convert ourselves to metric.
– Recite this, Rachel
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