International days of drinking and sock it to me

Dear Frequent Flier,

Huh. I suppose it would be a bit like backpacking the world in your own backyard. It would also be a bit like normal life in Durango, only with more international stereotyping. Still, anything that gets us thinking about other peoples and other cultures can’t be inherently bad, can it? And every nation is bound to have its own style of alcohol, even if it’s just Americans putting food coloring in generic beer. Let’s give it a whirl.

– Party on, Rachel

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Dear Rachel,

 

Dear Stocking Thomas,

My favorite part of this idea (except socking the homeless… wait, no, giving socks to people living on the street) is that, to you, having power equates to having socks aplenty. This is probably the greatest descriptor of wealth and influence I’ve ever heard. I wear the same socks for years until they lack functioning bottoms. Luxury, to me, would be buying 365 pairs of new socks every year, and never once having to pair them in the sock drawer. I’ll gladly give my used ones to the Easter Bunny if you think they’d come in handy.

– Footloose and fancy free, Rachel

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Dear Rachel,

Dear Stick in the Bog,

Here’s a wild and radical idea for you: What if you chose a particular international holiday – I’d recommend Lupercalia, the Satanist holiday of bodily autonomy and sexual liberation – to get crazy, click that “select all” box at the top of your inbox, and delete all? Then, go into your trash and delete them all permanently. As long as you still have socks, you will be free, my friend. Free.

– Without a trace, Rachel