Lady cab driver, bait & ship, and cheap talk

Dear Rachel,

I need some help on the social etiquette of giving neighbors a lift. I live a little out of town. My neighbor needed to pick up her truck at the mechanic. Of course the neighborly thing to do is give her a ride. But the shop is only open in business hours. That’s when I’m at work. So I had to take an early lunch, drive home, pick her up, drop her off, get back to work, and eat at my desk. How many years is my obligation done for? And what if she does something nice? Do I then have to say yes again next time she asks?

– Cab Driver

Dear Cabbie Calloway,

You can get out of the neighborly obligation forever. Just print off an Uber sticker for your windshield. Now, giving people lifts IS your job. You can answer any request with “Sure, that’s $15” or “Sorry, I’m off work then” or “Strange, I’m not seeing your request in the app.” Or, and this is radical, you just embrace your inner Mr. Rogers and take satisfaction in a good deed done that you can lord over her forever.

– Hoofing it, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I bought something online recently and explicitly paid extra for fast shipping. When it arrived, it came in a standard envelope with standard shipping. I get paying a little extra for handling, those envelopes aren’t cheap unless you get the free ones from the post office. I don’t even care that the standard shipping still arrived in time. I have a grievance! I’m justified in arguing this up the chain, right? My family thinks I should just let it go.

– Bull Ship

Dear Cow Boat,

The zen part of me agrees that you should let it go. Let karma handle it, and find gratitude in your package arriving on time. But that part of me is very small. The rest of me wants you to fight for justice. Eradicate all injustice! Demand the difference credited back to your method of payment, and do NOT accept store credit! 

– Fight the man, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Do you have experience with therapy? I’m finally going to a therapist. All the websites say you should try out a few to see who you connect with. But those websites aren’t paying the $150 an hour for all these “trial periods.” How am I supposed to afford a therapist after spending so much to find one?

– As Broke As My Wallet

Dear Don’t Fixit,

Start Ubering! And treat your passengers like your therapist. So what if you pick up a customer in the middle of a memory? I’m convinced therapists have to pretend to know what you’re talking about half the time anyway. You’ll actually make money to spill your emotions. Until you get overrun with one-star reviews, but by then, maybe you’ll have saved up enough for an hour of real therapy.

– Same time next week, Rachel