Loan forgiveness, dish duty and mommy issues
Dear Rachel,
Let’s skip the part where you tell me I’m an idiot for lending money to a friend. I did it, it’s done, lesson learned. The next lesson I need to learn is how to get it back. We’re talking hundreds of dollars, not enough to murder for, but enough not to forget. He used to joke about paying back but that’s tapered off. I don’t want the friendship to turn but I could use the bread. What’s your advice?
– Sour Dough
Dear Loan Shark,
I have to presume that direct, honest communication is for some reason off the table. Otherwise, why not that? If you’re two dudes, or otherwise incapable of talking out your problems, you have little choice but to resort to a) outsourcing your violence, which likely eats into your payback as hit men aren’t cheap, or b) petty theft, which is time-consuming, as odds are your friend’s easily stealable belongings aren’t in high demand on eBay. Maybe try talking after all?
– Pay up, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
What’s the etiquette on washing dishes when a friend cooks you dinner? My BFF and I have started dining in instead of out. We can drink way more, it’s cheaper and we’re having a blast. At her house, she cooks, I insist on washing up everything. At my house, I cook, and if she washes anything, it’s the plates and silverware. Leaves the rest for me in the morning. I don’t want to get upset if I’m the one overextending here. Am I?
– Spic and Span
Dear Washed Up,
All the ghosts of all my grandmothers lined up through the centuries are here to say: Do the dishes! (I hope you hear that in your best ghostly voice.) But my grandmothers, not a one of them, did not benefit from contemporary therapy. Meet your friend where she’s at. Do the dishes as she does them. And if this causes issues? Talk about it. (A recurring theme this week. Please don’t make me take my own advice, ever.)
– Out with the dishwater, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
Why isn’t there a bigger market for belated Mother’s Day cards, flowers and such? I can’t be the only one who forgot to order anything for Mommy Dearest (who lives three states away) until the night before when it was far too late to do anything about it. Someone could charge double, and I’d pay it to grovel. Hey, not a bad business idea. Wanna invest?
– Past-Due Son
Dear Born Late,
Forget belated gifts. I’d pay triple for a service willing to show up to my mom’s door, apologize profusely for failing to deliver the symbols of my love on time, and have her feel guilty for presuming that I forgot all about her. That last part is really what I’d pay for. Same for birthdays, anniversaries and passive aggressive thank-yous to friends who owe me boatloads of money. Anything but talking to them.
– Dead to me, Rachel
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