Missing in purrpetuity, getting even, and my pits don't smell

Dear Rachel,

I am writing to you about Cid, the black & white kitty whose owner first reported him missing in your Lost & Found column back in July 2024. Every week since then, there’s that picture of Cid, still missing. Sad to say, I have not found Cid. And after nearly a year and half, I’m not sure anyone will.  Can you offer some compassionate advice to Cid’s owner to get him/her to move on, and perhaps get a new kitty? Or must your loyal readers continue to suffer collective angst as the weeks roll by, knowing Cid’s probable, albeit undetermined fate?

- Nine Lifer

Dear Person with a Heart,

Hope springs eternal, as they say. Or, in this case, purrrpetually. We all hope and grieve in our own ways. Whatever Cid’s people are experiencing, it’s greater than the cumulative sum of all the discomfort of all the readers who see the ad each week. You can let them have this thread of possibility. And, hey: keep an eye open, because you never know.

– Paws crossed, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I was really isolated in a bad narcissistic relationship for a few years. Got out a few years ago, but still felt like I couldn’t say much, because she seems so adored in the community. Well, someone else she burned got to talking with me, and we realize now there must be many of us, and we are not alone. Do we give into the urge to burn things down around her? (Metaphorically, of course.) Or do we take the high road and ignore her?

– Burning Bright

Dear Raging Fire,

Oh, the call of vengeance is sweet. This person robbed you of so much. But what would you gain, really, from setting fire to whatever you can torch from her life? Intense satisfaction? Karmic justice? Finally, a sense of control and community as you shun these treacherous behaviors to the wilds, excommunicating her once and for all to live out her days as alone as you felt? Only you can decide if those rewards are worth the effort.

– Sparky, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Now that I am postmenopausal, I don’t seem to need under arm deodorant. I am very physically active, and still my T-shirts often don’t smell after wearing them for pickleball, yoga or a bike ride. I’m sure it’s not my sense of smell, since I can smell other odors. My question is, how do I know when I need to wash my shirts? They often don’t seem dirty, even after wearing them during physical activity.

– Coming Up Roses

Dear Waft of Flowers,

I think it’s time we educate you about the existence of microorganisms. They are these tiny creatures, invisible to the naked eye, that do not always emit toxic-smelling fumes. Kind of like little narcissists that live in your clothes. They’ll make you sick if you don’t wash them out. So please, even if you don’t (or more likely, can’t) smell yourself, do your freaking laundry.

– Out, damned spot, Rachel