No snow no-show, calling in the pup pros and unintelligence

Dear Rachel,

Loved your boot answer this week. I got all excited in the beginning of December when it snowed 2” and bought new boots and finally just returned them since it’s apparently never going to snow again. Maybe that will make it snow? Even worse, my spouse does not believe in human-caused global warming – an unspoken sore spot in our marriage – so I have no one to vent to, at least about the climate. How do I deal, both with the no-snow and the no-show in my man’s brain?

– Denied

Dear Running Dry,

There are very few things I can say that would absolutely wreck a relationship for me without nuance or context. That’s one of them. It doesn’t matter if we “believe” in human-caused global warming or not, any more than it matters if I “believe” my plumber telling me what’s clogging my pipes: it’s still there, and I still have to deal with it. Kinda like you still have to deal with your fella. All I’ll say is, the ground probably ain’t frozen too deep, if you decide to do something about him.

– Brr, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

We all know (or should) about the perils of leaving dogs in the car in summer. But what about winter? We realized there’s a car parking nearby overnight, and it has a dog in it. I understand some people (and their dogs) don’t have a place to go. But it’s straight up too cold for a dog to be outside, especially a shorthaired one like this one. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble but want to help the dog. What should I do?

– Dog Days of Winter

Dear Puppy Patrol,

Hashtag not a legal expert. But this is what animal control is for. Everything I know to tell you won’t be helpful: bust a window? Still cold outside. Steal the dog? Probably not legal. Surround the car with space heaters? Too many extension cords. I would do things for a dog in need that would land me in the slammer. But your best course of action is to call the pros. For the dog!

– Out in the cold, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m sick and tired of AI everywhere. Stay out of my inbox. I don’t need you summarizing my note from my grandpa. Stay out of my searches. Some of us actually like to read. Stay out of my music. You don’t actually know how to predict what I want to listen to. And even if you could, I don’t want my entire virtual experience shaped by an algorithm. Rachel, you’ll keep AI out of your column, right?

– Natural Intelligence

Dear Big Brain,

I, too, hate the preponderance of AI everywhere. It’s not even “intelligence,” per se. It just bounces back information that looks like what you prompt it to give you. Literally the best case I can think of for its use is to replace your husband who doesn’t “believe” in global warming with one who says he does, even if his sources are hallucinated.

– Your weekly chatbot, Rachel