Red flags, tipping point and lots o' fun
Dear Rachel,
One of my two best friends has a new boyfriend who is her best yet. Attentive, compassionate, sweet. But he is definitely jealous of her friendships with men. I think this is a big red flag. Our other best friend thinks it’s kind of romantic (because it shows he cares). In fairness, this guy has not acted on his jealousy, but he makes it clear in what he says. Is this an automatic warning sign? Or can it actually be a good thing?
– Up the Flagpole
Dear Flapping in the Breeze,
Emotions are not, themselves, bad or good. This bro is allowed to feel jealous. But my dear, “making it clear in what he says” is a form of acting on his jealousy. This does not sound like healthy communication. It sounds like dude gets moody and can’t express it constructively. As a new boyfriend, he is on his best behavior. This IS his best behavior. I’m not saying you should wave the red flags, but you should definitely have them unfurled and ready to roll.
– Get set, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
I’m a generous tipper, but I found my line: airport kiosks. You do not need to ask me for an extra 25% on top of my already price-gouged $32 turkey sandwich. I’m not opposed to workers getting paid, but the companies need to do it. They already have us captive, hungry and stressed. Pay your people. Don’t ask me to do it. Do you agree? Will run-amok tipping ever be reeled back?
– Tipped Over
Dear Tipper Gore,
I’ve developed a rule of tipping: don’t tip until you’ve received what you paid for. This isn’t to be a dick. It’s actually to keep me from feeling guilty about selecting “No tip” on the screen when 25% and 28% are right there shaming me. This is also the only reason remaining for me to carry cash. I just know my barista appreciates my pocket-sweaty bills as a show of appreciation,
– Just the tip, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
What about people who park right on the line in their parking space. Yes, they are technically in their space. But this makes it challenging for people in the next space. It was OK when spaces used to be wide, but now everything is tighter to fit in more customers. Are they jerks just asking for a door dent? Or are they within their rights (and their space)?
– Riding the Line
Dear In Bounds,
Letter of the law: they’re fine. Spirit of the thing: they really ought to correct their parking. But what if they’re squeezed over because the jerk next to THEM was riding the line? What if this rippled down an entire parking lot? You can’t know who the jerk-of-origin was. But it was probably some dude jealous that his new girlfriend has guy friends, because clearly he has some issues with clear boundaries.
– Backing in, Rachel
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