Sick thoughts, charity lunch and well off

Dear Rachel,
Trying to figure out how we’re supposed to act anymore. Covid is spiking! Yikes! Of course no one wants to get sick. But do we do the same level of “stay home and breathe on no one” with other bugs? Have I missed the memos on how we talk about being sick anymore? Just trying to figure it out before this tickle in my throat gets any worse.
– Bad Feeling
Dear Leper,
I shouldn’t have to tell you that I am not a medical professional. Nor am I any sort of public health officer. But I did watch a training video for a food handler’s certification one time, and it said clearly that if you are sick you should stay home and not touch food, unless you’re fine or you really need the money. So, if you are still unclear how you should act, I recommend getting a job in food service, just for the onboarding.
– Bad Medicine, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
I’m blessed to have older friends (former teachers, mentors, etc.) who I still see sometimes. They always insist on paying. Ten, 15 years ago they said, “When you get going, you can treat.” Well here I am, an adult, and they still say, “Your time will come.” It’s sweet, right? Except it also feels like they’re telling me I haven’t made it yet. And I haven’t, but I don’t want to admit that. How can I start taking the tab to repay their kindness without being rude?
– Free Lunch
Dear Moocher,
You can’t. So don’t try. Unless your mentors are on fixed incomes, you let them pay. It is the circle of life. Someday, you must take another under your wing. Pass on your knowledge and buy them sandwiches, just as someone once bought sandwiches for you. But then you can flip the script. When you get old, and they want to pay, LET THEM. Because who turns down free food?
– Gobble up, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
I can’t get over the phrase “be well.” It sounds SO pass agg to me. Unless you are a yoga instructor who says “namaste” without any trace of irony, but then it would still sound fake. What is this? Why is this little loving phrase so horrible? Or is it just me and my warped, neglected heart??
– Don’t Tell me What to Do
Dear Mega Resistor,
Oh, it’s definitely passive aggressive. Unless it’s not. But when it is, it’s beautifully passive aggressive. What are you going to do, argue back with “No, I don’t WANT to be well! I want to be unwell, sickly, miserable, malnourished, malcontent, malevolent and all the other mal- words that are maladies in our world today?” Just suck it up, be glad they’re not more aggressive, and be your best dang self. Unless you have Covid. Then go be sick somewhere else.
– Be mediocre, Rachel
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