Supply chain scapegoat, hot tub horrors &?Santa unchained
Dear Rachel,
I am starting to feel like businesses are using “supply-chain shortages” as an excuse for everything. Jacking up prices? Supply chain. Unwilling to pay workers what they’re worth? Supply chain. Wafts of sewage on the ground floor? Supply chain. This really gets my goat because we have the same supply chain that worked just fine for the first year of a global pandemic. Don’t tell me we’re supposed to buy this is all still rippling from that one stuck ship?
– Ain’t Buyin’ It
Dear Stiffed,
What jilted you personally? Was it the entire capitalist economic system that, in the end, doesn’t care at all for you, the consumer, once you stop feeding the machine with dolla dolla billz? Or was it that your Prime shipping went from two days to “approximately next Wednesday” like mine did? I’m telling you, it’s about time we riot like the French. But you can’t order a Molotov cocktail in time for Christmas these days.
– Power to the people, Rachel
Dear Rachel,
Other people think hot tubs are the greatest accoutrement to a well-lived life. But I just can’t. I mean, I take one bath in a regular bathtub, and by the time I get out, I feel like that water is disgusting slop. Sure, a hot tub has chlorine to kill the germs. But all the dead skin is still there! All the sweat, all the hairs, and yet the hot tub practically never gets drained. Gak! Am I wrong in my assessment? What am I missing?
– Stewing
Dear Hot Tub Whine Machine,
You’re missing one big factor in your assessment: Bubbles. Those jets are the real joy of a hot tub. That, and not having to wait for the water to heat up and the tub to fill every single time. Oh, the bubble jets don’t get rid of any of that crud. But they sure make me forget about all the unpleasantness floating in there.
– Chill out, Rachel
RACHAEL
HI -HO Its off to work we go. With Christmas coming where did all the mail BOXES GO? Durango is lacking in MAIL BOXES. HOW MANY RACHAEL? Thanks to the GRINCH of NO JOY,, MR DE-JOY HEAD OF USPS. Under the TRUMPSTER he made it harder to vote by mail but attacked my JOB. I want kids to send requests to me to stimulate DURANGO business but they cant find a mail box. Rachel i need your help.and find the locations and numbers of mail boxes in Durango for my kids? KIDS send your request SANTA LOVES YOU ALL.
– Santa Claus
Dear SAANTA CLAAUS,
Huh. I’m experiencing cognitive dissonance. Going purely off your communication style (which, if you can imagine, has been edited for clarity) sure had me believing you were a TRUMPSTER, which meant I didn’t believe in you any more at all. But you sure seem at least pro-mail? Never judge a BOOMER by his ALL-CAPS, I suppose. But I don’t see how you can stimulate DURANGO business when all your goods are sweat-shopped up north and probably stuck by now in a shipping container somewhere.
– The GRINCHSTER, Rachel
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